August 18, 2011

Love is Chess...Not Checkers

"Being rejected doesnt mean you're not worthy. It means you're just not what they might want. Move on. It's chess not checkers."- Author Terry McMillan via Twitter

When I was younger, my father tried to teach me how to  play chess. It was a complicated game of strategy...and far too complicated for my 8 year old mind. All I wanted to do was roller skate, play with dolls, or paint/draw. I had absolutely no patience to learn the game of kings and queens (Not to mention..my Dad was a HORRIBLE teacher who himself had no patience...). I thought this was a game for old people. This was no fun. And it was too long..and each piece had it's own move. Why couldnt this be as simple as checkers?

Now, at 32, I wish I had really paid attention to the game of chess. It would have taught me so much about life and love. Love is a game of chess...not checkers: a calculated, exacting series of moves for your heart.

The objective of chess is to place the opponent in "checkmate"...a position where their king can be capture no matter what move that they make. Each piece has their own position. Everyone cant make the same moves.  Rooks, Bishops, Queen, King, Knights..the little ol' Pawns...

Much of my love life, I've been a pawn. Just a little, sometimes insginificant piece that moves straight forward. And depending on the move..it could end up on an empty square or take someone's piece. It just moves the game along. Rarely if ever have I heard of a chess master winning a game with a pawn.Often times you feel like that little, insignificant pawn...feeling like your moves are just moving the game of love along and not really going anywhere.Love, much like chess, will frustrate the hell out of you. You have no idea which way to turn.

Chess is a lot like courting, dating, mating and love...  I'd rather be in slow, calculated game of strategy....then be in a rushed game of "divide and conquer". We are living in a time of "checkers" like love/interactions..dudes just wanna come out "on top"..and get to you as fast as possible. Heck..I can't even call it love or a relationship if that's the case. I'm tired of that. I'm something to be savored, learned, and developed. It takes skill to win me over. Likewise, it takes all of those things for me to get to know someone as well. Just like the moves of a chess board, everyone cant make the same move on your heart to capture you. They have to use what they have...to get you. You are the board..and they must study in order to make a move.

Maybe one day someone will treat me more like chess..instead of checkers. Someone will say "Checkmate" instead of "King Me".

It's wishful thinking...but maybe I'll come across my Bobby Fisher....who'll put the moves on my heart.


2 comments:

  1. Wow, I really loved this analogy of Chess being like courting, dating, mating, and love.
    I wish i knew how to play the game of chess as well.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You hit the nail on the head with this post. Your definitions of love, dating, mating, and etc are exactly like a game of chess, to be nurtured, skilled, and developed. I enjoyed this. Thanks!!

    ReplyDelete

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