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I'm Just Too F**** Fine

...for this.


WARNING: This is about to be the most conceited post in blog history.


I got these awesome set of 38 DD"s sitting up here. I'm 31..and they are STILL PERKY! (lol).  I am not too big. Not too skinny. Well..I'm thickums..but I'm thick in most of the right places. Thick in the thighs..Pretty on the eyes!!! I have near flawless Mocha-colored skin. One time..a man told me I looked like "chocolate with bits of gold in it" (which is the best compliment I've ever had). I wear my makeup with the precision of Rembrandt...yet I dont look painted on. When I have the cash..I make sure my feet and hands are done. I have a face full of almond shaped eyes...the perfect pout and straight white teeth. And these cheekbones! My goodness! People pay good money for these! I have a laugh that is infectious and I have a sweet, Southern drawl. My breath is never funky (if so..I try to rectify ASAP). My locs are always freshly done, scalp oiled and smell heavenly. I try to keep myself in shape..and work out 3-4 times a week. I have a great, classic sense of style that most people comment on and admire... I mean really..







I am far too smart and intelligent with a massive vocabulary and a cursory knowledge that would be really good on Jeopardy some day. I 'm mannerable, Southern girl. Parents love me! I believe in the Lord. I love my Mama. I think that men should be uplifted and appreciated and I surely am willing to put my "independent woman" self to the side..and let a man be a man....The idea of "submission" isn't so foreign to me anymore (I admit that in my older age....) just so long as a man knows God and respects and honors my opinion as well. We are a team!



I am far too talented. I paint. I draw. I'm pretty "crafty". I'm adventerous. I'm willing to try new things (this includes in the boom-boom room too!). I love creativity and that shows in my ability to love...and HOW I love...



....I am too fine for this.











Yet...







I haven't been on a date in almost *looks at calendar*...almost 2 months.



The clothes in my closet are collecting dust.



I haven't had "meaningful" sex in a LONG time.



I haven't been spoiled, doted on, adored, or pampered in forever.



I don't rememebr the last time I got butterflies when I dude called me (or he actually called..instead of texting me to death)



What are first kisses like?



What's it like waking up to someone who adores you?



It's to the point where I get a muthafucking attitude that I don't have shit to do on the weekends anymore....If I do go out...I get an attitude when I KNOW damn well I'm the finest heffa up in the spot and dudes ain't checking. I am not bragging or anything..but you know when you are ON...and when you aren't.











ARGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!






BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!



/End Rant

Comments

  1. "....I am too fine for this."

    Was basically my favorite line and... the sum of the post.

    I think a lot of us totally feel your pain. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are too fine for all this. We are both going round for round with Patience. *smh*

    ReplyDelete
  3. If you are in Atlanta...I know why you are dateless! But, I will take your FINE ASS out. LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow..well..thanks Muata (LOL)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yes you are, Soror! Everyone else is just crazy. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. You are too fine for that - their loss. *smh* Some lucky man out there could be having it all! They just don't know, girl. :-)

    ReplyDelete

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