January 27, 2013

Guest Blogger Sunday: Embracing a Sexual Dry Spell


** Sex and the Southern Belle is proud to partner with Frances Denzel of TheAdultToyShop.com for a timely guest blog....Valentine's Day is around the corner and well.........everyone isn't getting that loving feeling. We learn that sometimes that can be a good thing... **



Embracing a Sexual Dry Spell

Even the most passionate couple may experience a period in time when sexual desires are low. Intimacy is easily pushed aside, sometimes stress is a main cause or perhaps you simply “don't feel like it”. Some may feel concerned  that sexual disinterest will spill into other aspects of the relationship and lead to general disinterest with their partner.

Don't place a grim outlook on your future however, a sexual dry spell is an opportunity to embrace other aspects of the relationship and build your foundation stronger in other ways such an emotional closeness and a deeper friendship. You can also harness this time to bring a fantastic triumphant return to your sex life in a few months! Below are a few ways to embrace this time and change your train of through from negative to positive:

1.)  Anticipation Builds
Patience is required and only time can create desire. Eventually however the human trait of “you want what you cant have” will come to the surface. An interesting tip is to keep practicing abstinence for a while longer, don't give into your urges just yet. The longer you wait, the more exciting your first sexual encounter will be.

This may be an extreme example, but people who become “born again virgins” or decided to wait until marriage for sexual intercourse experience better intimacy during sex then couples who have sexual intercourse before marriage. Following this premise, even a married couple can benefit from holding off for a while longer. Furthermore, this gives the mind an excellent opportunity to fantasize about the future encounter!

2.)  Offers an Opportunity to Start a New Sex Life.
Perhaps the sex life faded because of repetition. It will happen to even the most seasoned lovers, as humans, we are creatures of habit and easily fall into a routine because that's what's most comfortable. Some people think of new things to try but are timid about suggesting it to their partner, most commonly out of fear of rejection.

If you are on a sex life hiatus, it can be considered pressing the “reset” button so when you finally jump back into bed together, you can suggest the new things you've wanted to try since your ordinary sexual routine is no longer a “routine”. Try a new sexual position you've always wanted to, try having sex outside the bedroom or try sex toys. Check this out, it could be the “first day of the rest of your sex life”! 

3.)  Emotional Connection Deepens.
We can learn a lot from courtship. Couples who engage in this time old Christian tradition  connect on an emotional level first. Many claim this builds an excellent foundation of trust, communication and friendship before sex even comes into play. Critics to this practice say that sexual chemistry cannot be learned, it's the same chemistry as compatibility but couples who have been through courtship phase will tell you otherwise.

If you're interested in what courtship entails to see how it's practices can be applied to your current phase in your relationship, please view the stages of courtship. This example states heavily the reference to religion but you'll see the original concept behind this practice. Why are we mentioning courtship in an article about sex? It's purely to show the stance on how being abstinence can positively affect emotional closeness and growth in your marriage.


"Frances Denzel offers relationship advice for couples helping to deepen emotional connection, proving the benefits of a close intimate bond for the mind body and soul. Frances contributes information for TheAdultToyShop.com and reaches out to fellow Americans looking for inspiration in the bedroom."

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