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I Don't Want Your Noni Juice, Ninja!!


As you all know, I've done the dating site here and there and a time or two (Ok..maybe more than two times but who is counting ....i bet you are...you nosy bastards!) But anyway...I've done the on-line dating thing. Some good............. Mostly bad. Some ok experiences. I haven't given up on dating nor would I NOT recommed on-line dating as a great started for getting your feet wet in dating.....but for me, at this moment., I've had to take a break from it for several reasons.
One of which is: I am not buying what you're selling.


Oh no..I don't mean the usual "I'm a good guy. I'd be your Black Prince Charming"-bullshit men usually hustle.  That is expected on a dating site. I mean the ACTUAL selling of goods and/or services. Oh yes, your favorite dating sites have now become undercover means for men to get female clientele/partners in pyramid schemes/direct marketers. And it seems there is nothing you can do about it.

I encountered this a few months ago. A guy hit me on the dating site and I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN he was too good to me true. HE was fine. He was caramel and tall.   He had a username that didn't cotain a sexual phrase like "ridemyfaceinareverse69foru" and his real name didn't have a weird apostrophe. or started with La or Da or ended in "Quavius"....He had a beard. *drools* . He had dimples *pannies wet*. He was buff. Like...his pecs were oily and junk (Ok that should have raised suspiscion too..ol' oily nipple dude...) . I was like..*looking around* WHO ME?? You wanna talk to me??

So dude and I proceed to exchange a few messages...He asked if I had fitness interest and I do/did (Wait..did he think I was fat from the jump? Probably...*shrug* ) . I wanted to learn to box to get in shape...I was like "Well he seems cool" and just when I thought he would ask for my number...he goes.."So..yeah..take a look at my personal training site....let me know if you ever wanna get together..and I can teach you those boxing lessons you've wanted. I charge $25 an hour...etc"

*sucks teeth*....this ninja....


and I do mean ninja. Not just the "euphemism" for the derogatory racial slur. I mean this NINJA...ol' stealthy, slick bastard. I wanted to hit him with the "CMON SON" sign. (and hit myself with it for that matter).

Since that incident, I've been contacted more than once from guys trying to hustle via dating sites. One asked if I needed a DJ for an event. One asked me if I was interested in selling Noni juice (Nigs still drinking that terd water?). One asked me if I wanted to go in on some real estate thing. And of course, there are your stereotypical Nigerian  (or insert whatever foreign country) scammers. Those are easy to pick out...it's the ones who come at you all smooth, liking your pics, having REAL and articulate conversations that piss you off.

Ninja...I dont want your damn Noni JUICE! I dont want to hire you as an exotice dancer for my 33rd birthday (Ok...so....). I don't want to listen to your demo or put your damn music on my blog! I don't want to hire you as a photographer. I don't want to sell Amway, body magics, or melaleuca! I am not HERE FOR THIS! I am here to find someone to spend time with, watch the game with, argue over Scrabble with and oil my scalp and flip pancakes in boxers the next day and that I tolerate long enough to get to the "meet my mama" phase. I am not here for your damn hustleman tactics!


(Naw..not here for you, Cheif!!)


When did dating sites become this "free for all" of foolishness? I miss the days of a guy just lying about his marital status. Now you gotta contend with that plus him trying to get you to patronize his mobile car detailing shop!

If you want to sell your goods and services , then I suggest you get a Craigslist ad. That way if you do get some ass out the deal, at least your slimy tactics would be appreciated and expected.

Look.. I am all for the hustle. I admire and respect the ingenuity of guys. But don't hustle on my dime or time. Both of which are pretty valuable. Have we become SUCH the captialist society that even your "hustle" has to be translated in arenas that have nothing to do with the "selling" of goods? I mean...love is a commodity. True it has no intrinsic value other than what it gives you emotionally. And some say that love costs...but..damn....not like this.

So yeah...I'm not for dudes using dating sites for their own personal Ebays. Please miss me with that bullshit...

In the immortal words of the great Orator Sweet Brown of St. Louis, MO.....



Comments

  1. Oh snap, i cant believe folks are using dating sites for that. That's mad sheisty. smh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very sheisty....however...sometimes you find a diamond in the rough. Some couples give me hope! :)

      Delete

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