(Get a little Bedroom Kandi...courtesy of Kandi Burruss)
Are toys ok? Certainly they aren't human. Is masturbation ok? Certainly you are your safest partner. Does it create in the spiritually sober mind a fleshly desire? Or are you just handling business until the time "comes".
I, early on, was of the mindset that touching myself during this period was bad. And especially using a vibrator was no good. It was phallic. It pulsed. It moved. And most of all, it got me desiring the real flesh and blood thing. So I avoided all tools of the trade. I was doing just fine....until...
A vendor unexpectedly sent me a toy. I hadn't requested any toys for review but it was a gorgeous piece of sexual apparatus. It vibrated like a monster, had a curve for g-spot stimulation. On top of that, the vendor sent me a sample of lubricant. Hmmmm... Maybe they were tempting me. I put said toy and lubricant away in my "review drawer ".... Never to be heard again. I didn't need to contact the vendor or do the review. I hadn't asked for that thing.
Days....months go by. I had not even thought about that thing. That is, until the day I misplaced the remote for the tv. I swear I had lost it. I searched and searched until finally I looked in the last place where I'd put it : the "review " drawer. Well.... There was the remote. I must have sleepily put it there in the middle of the night . Next to it.. That unopened , shiny box.
I paused.
Hmmm... Maybe I should test it. I mean at least look at it. I could be defective , right ? I felt a little guilty tearing into the package but I did. And there she was. The Cadillac of g-spot vibrators. It was this thing...
I looked at it for a while...
Looked at the packaging.
Turned on some Raheem Devaughn.....
and well.... it went sorta like this....
Hmm..let's just say I need to revisit my policy on "no toys" during the "celibacy" period. I felt like I had reconnected with an old boyfriend, we were making amends, getting back in our groove, and it was all good. How silly had I been to think that loving myself physically was a violation of my vow to celibacy...How silly had I thought that masturbation was some sort of violation of the vow I made to myself. Oh BOB...how I missed you
I had a new found respect for BOB.
And I think BOB missed me too....
That's one pretty looking toy! lol
ReplyDeleteI agree that pleasuring yourself doesn't violate the practice of celibacy. To me, the purpose of celibacy is so that you aren't giving the precious gift of your body/temple to just any guy who is undeserving... it goes along with the idea that this should be reserved for someone special, a significant other if you will. To me, that is completely unrelated to masturbation. I think celibacy is far more realistic and likely to last if you can still attain sexual gratification on your own... without the help of another person. So Im glad you reconsidered.... and enjoyed some quality time with B.O.B. LOL!!!
hahaha! @Y..
ReplyDeleteI know you were VERY critical of the "no pleasuring yourself" stance. I am sure that had to do w/ your clinical/Freudian training...but yeah...it was getting old and frustrations were getting to be UNreal...LOL