November 15, 2011

The Burning Questions: Random Thoughts

  •  Why is it SO EASY for men to move on? They move to a new city...they quickly fall into finding a new chick to smash. Divorce/Break Up....got a new broad within the week and marry her in 6 months. Break someone's heart...get another chick pregnant. I mean...where is the recovery time for your hear? It seems so cold. Especially cause the next chick won't know she's filler. The old girl becomes afterthoughts...if she doesn't materializes into vapor.

  • Why are my ATL born and raised sensibilities not a good fit anymore in the NEW ATL of fake asses, over 35 year olds in the club, everyone wanting to be a model/star, and no one dating? I gotta get away. I wont tolerate bashing my city..ESP by transplants because they are partly why the atmosphere has changed. I'm tired. The truly Southern Belle I am (and not in a Phaedra way) and that just doesn't mix well now. But if I go...where will I go? Here or abroad? Will it all just be the same?

  • Why are my misfortunes comedy for so many people? Perhaps not intentionally. But when I hurt...I hurt. I recently tweeted about an incident where I felt like I was on an episode of Awkward Black Girl and I get a DM from my frat laughing and calling me a clutz. It wasn't the time nor the place. I really felt I blew my chances to make a good first impression. You don't have to drive the nail any deeper. I dont need to be reminded of how I make mistakes, esp. socially.

  • Has celibacy hurt or helped me? Spiritually, I feel helped a lot. I feel at peace. I don't feel pressued. I feel cleansed. But socially, I feel awkward. I mean, there has been NO attempts at dates or seriously dating. I don't even know if I SHOULD or can be around guys.. When I bring it up, I get either "Awww...thats great" or "Aww..I feel sorry for you.". No one knows how to react.

  • Why is it that no "toy"...no pair of "shoes"..no new hair do..or no new outfit can replace the hole you feel inside? And why do you try and fill it....when you should probably just "feel"it?

  • Why do I feel like I have to compromise myself, my morals and who I am to get what I truly want? I dont feel the need to "trick" men  or "trick" my bosses or professors. I refuse to do it. But am I "losing"?

  • Do fairytales every happen for little black girls? I don't mean Prince Charming waltzing in to save the day. I mean just dreams coming true. We all seem so tired of being sick and tired. I have girlfriends who lament the same thing. Over over.....I can see why "the rainbow isn't enuf".

  • Why don't more men write songs about love and loving? And less songs about "ASS" and smacking it and keeping it "wet".  Why do you know the mechanics of sex but not the mechanics of love?

  • Why does it appear that the "losers" are rewarded? They've done wrong yet they come out shining. How is that fair?
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  • Have you ever wanted to just say to God.."Look God...enough is enough." or "God..is this how it's gonna be?" It's frustrating. You don't want to have to get to the perils of Job to appreciate God...or get THIS close to cursing God.. I feel like Jacob, wrestling with God. But I'm not sure if I am coming out the victor. I am reminded of His word: Jer 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

  • When does it get old hearing "You have this and that...you are SO GREAT...I dont understand why you are single"? When is the polite way of telling people to "shut the fuck up" because instead of being helpful..it just sounds condescending?

  • When do you just stop caring? Stop wishing upon wish...hoping upon hope..particularly if you profess to be a person of faith. Can you have faith and be numb to care? Numb to empathy?

  • Can your "best" just not be good enough?

  • Can silence and emptiness become familiar? Can you get used to it? Can it replace what was familiar?

5 comments:

  1. Welp you pretty much covered it all. Anthony David and a few others still sings about love and Tyrese's (don't shoot me) new cd is actually very nice I was pleasantly surprised. My cousin made me a copy I have been playing it since last week.

    I am over the A I can't say that enough if I didn't have a house to get rid of I would have BEEN GONE!

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  2. Hugs to my sweetie. I've probably had the same 12 outta 14 thoughts and emotions that you have had over the years. (Except the part about the club. Why come over 35 can't be there? LOL) You're normal. It's normal. It doesn't make it hurt any less or be any less real. We all go thru similar things in degrees. Keep on keeping on.

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  3. Blown away.

    Well, if I had to say, I believe you are a quality sista, so it's probably a matter of the types of men you've come into contact with. If anything I'd insist that you remain proud of yourself for the morals & values which you've refused to compromise.

    Not to mention how Earth has entered into its Last Days, which might explain why it's an "ass song" world, as well as other negatives you've touched upon.

    I righteously believe that everything is everything and it all evens out in the end.

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  4. Yeah, men do seem to have that ability, dont they? I guess for many its their way of coping with the heartache, but dang. I believe in a resting period too.

    Hmmm, where would you move if you left ATL? Another southern metropolis... furher north, ie, NYC or MD/DC? Abroad?

    Aww, so mean of your frat. Im sure he was just being silly/teasing you but, as you've stated, it wasnt the time or place. You know sometimes folks just dont think, thats all. smh

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  5. You asked questions so many of us want to know the answer to. I'm hoping that as time goes on, some of the questions (thoughts) that you and I both have will be revealed.

    Peace~

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