May 4, 2011

The "Sporadically Happy" Dater: A Quick Blog

 
"Isn't that what being a single,black woman dating (esp in this city) is nowadays ? Just being happy in sporadic moments and on random occassions?"

I put that quote on my Facebook page today. Instantly, I got a few people to hit me up, asking me what I meant by being "sporadically happy" or that I made it seem like for being a black woman dating isn't happy or joyous.

Well...it aint.

I'm generally a pretty positive and happy person. But when it comes to dating, I often times are more dissapointed than pleased.  This isnt to say that I look for dating to make me happy. I don't. Dating is TIRING. It's a part time, if not full time, job. Weeding through the resumes and the dating "intereviews" can be a bit disheartening.  And when your applicant pool is already low and being sought at by many different companies, you just want to close up shop and call it a day...and just have a "temp" fill in for the "hard" jobs every now and again. And even your "temp" can flake out on you.

So I settle for cherish the random occasions when I am happy. I revel and look forward to those times. ..the time when I  truly and blissfully happy when I am seeing someone. The times when I could care less what the outcome of this relationship will be.  The random times when I feel loved and pleased. I like the sporadic moments of feeling like I'm the only girl in their eyes (when I probably am not) and feeling totally adored. The butterflies. The jumping into their arms. The PDA...The well..psuedo-love I guess. And I look back on those moments in my dating experiences warmly and fondly.

I guess for me, all that falling madly in love stuff has lost its luster. I'm ok with feeling it every now and then. And after settling into seeing someone for longer than a month, I'm over it. Not to mention, HE"s over it too. Men def arent putting in an effort to "create" those magical moments for you. Romance is fleeting. Some dudes don't have a romantic bone in their body and forget the golden rule: Women need Romance for Sex...while Men need Sex for Romance.  They are just sorta like "whatever"....and in turn...women are like "Well...I guess I'll take it".

I'll take it...for now. I mean....that's what dating is anyway...just flashes in the pan of what relationship COULD be on their best days.

*shrug*

2 comments:

  1. Girl! Here's hoping that your moments of happiness a more frequent and longer lasting. You definitely deserve it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes, I've always hated dating. It's such a necessary evil, isn't it?! Here's wishing we could just snap our fingers, meet "the one," skip the whole process, and live happily ever after. Ehh, too bad that's not the reality of things.

    Good post. I feel you.

    ReplyDelete

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