May 16, 2011

Dear Married Friends...STFU


Dating is hard enough. It is even hard if in your circle of friends you are the only single person (or in my case, a newly single person….).  Usually when chicks are dating, it’s not so bad. But as soon as they get married, it is as if their brain cells took a hiatus and they forgot what it was like to be single. They have no idea how to interact with you when you are lamenting about the ups and downs of your relationship.
I was married once. NEVER and I do mean NEVER did I say the words “Oh lord..I am SO GLAD I am not single” when talking to a single girlfriend. It is hard enough to be single. It is even harder to have it rubbed in your face, intentionally or not by some “well-meaning” friend
You know something, I think I may have to just cut my married friends off for a while. I know they THINK they mean well. But in reality, you are doing more harm than good. So, in the meantime, if you want to converse with  us, and we want to vent on our relationships or dating, please refrain from using the following phrases:
“Oh Lord..see..this is why I am glad I am not single anymore! All that foolishness you are going through” (So you lightweight gloating in the fact that you are single aint helping either, b*tch)
“Just dump him girl and move on!” (.So Imma dump him cause he forgot to put the top on the toothpaste? Get real…this only applies in non-harmful issues. If it is harmful, please tell us that)
“Oh but you are still young! You got time” (Says who..Jesus may come tomorrow!)
“Marriage aint all that it’s cracked up to be” (Let me be the judge of that..just cause your shit is awful don’t mean mime will be)
“Girl what I wouldn’t give to be single” (No you wouldn’t..b*tch stop lying)
“Just enjoy this before you get tied down with kids” (Maybe a bundle of joy will BRING me joy)
“You are just too picky…so what he got 3 kids, been in jail, don’t go to church” (Listen to how you sound….kick rocks!)

I mean I could go on and on. The lesson here is to please choose your words carefully. Learn to just be a sounding board for a friend.  Just reassess your girlfriend duties. Let me cry. Let me fuss. Let me get mad. Just learn to STFU…and maybe..just maybe…you’ll get that coveted invite to that wedding.

(Not from me though……………I ain’t telling you wenches sh*t….LOL)

4 comments:

  1. Oh gosh, I'm a newly wed and I hope I don't say stuff like this to my friends. Actually I usually just listen anyways... I feel where ur coming from though because I used to hear these things all the time when I was single, wanting my married friends to STFU too lol.

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  2. Let the church say amen!! Some of my friends who are in relationship make the dumbest comments to me as well. I cringe when I talk to somebody I haven't spoken to in awhile and they ask/say so are you STILL single as if I can snap my fingers and make my Mr Right appear. I don't have any close married friends, sadly and we are mid 30s.

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  3. I can relate too - I remember those comments and they used to infuriate me. Another comment I used to hate was when married women would refer to themselves as being in the "marriage club." Club? Like, wth is that? So if you're not married, you aren't in this exclusive club? I've always found that tacky and insulting, and as a result would never utter those words today.

    *smh* @ the "just dump him and move on" type of friend. I know plenty of those as well.

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  4. I agree with this post. A lot of the married females I know were lamenting just like me when they were single. They spew this BS even though they've only been married for 15 minutes. I've seen alot of them rub it in their single friends faces. And don't get me started on the single friends who have had babies out of wedlock and now all of a sudden found someone. They are the worst when it comes to this "phenomena" I just tell them STFU already. You should be lucky someone settled for your poor decision making ass.

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