March 29, 2011

Sex in College: The Dirty Truth From a College Vixen

** Sex and the Southern Belle has a guest blogger. A young, collegiate blogger by the name of Christine Vega who will be giving her insights on Sex and the Collegiate girl. SHe's a lifestyle blogger and an overall great, smart and talented young lady. She'll be blogging in two parts...hope you all enjoy!**

While teens “sext”, college students…screw. Yes, I said it: we like sex. “Making whoopee”, fucking, “making love”, banging, smushing- you name it, there’s a strong chance that we have done it. This is the article that will make parents cringe and spark a debate in the college world. However, I know you all have questions, so, I’m going to feel free to answer them to the best of my ability.
So, who am I to inform you about this? Well, my name’s Christine Vega and I’m a college student in the Atlanta area. No, I will not say where due to privacy reasons, so, don’t ask. I’m nineteen years old and the men I have slept with men in the single digits (translation: less than ten). I don’t sleep around and have rarely had casual sex. In all honesty, neither time was very enjoyable. I’m not going to go into great deal about my sex life, however, here is what I will share:
1.     I do have hormones. While my sex drive has gone down a lot due to recent, prescribed antidepressant use, it’s still there. I may be a female, but, I am also a human who enjoys the natural human ritual known as sex when in a relationship.
2.     I am “clean” and get tested regularly. Safe sex is the best sex, not to mention the only sex I will have.
3.     I view sex as an avenue for couples to release emotion and bond in a particular way.
4.     While the average for most of my friends is about sixteen years old, I waited until I was eighteen years old and a freshman in college. Some of my friends have had sex as young as twelve or thirteen years old and others are in their twenties and still virgins. In fact, I’ve had friends who have yet to be kissed or have a significant other.
5.     To be blunt, I have experienced a sexual encounter with someone of the same sex. College is a time where many of us have, and probably will, done the same thing. In general, college students experiment and, hopefully, learn.
6.     I write a lifestyle blog, Simply Men and Women, that is mostly about dating and relationship-related articles, as well as for Technorati.
7.     Yes, I’m sure an admissions counselor from one of the three schools I’m applying to is going to read this, or my mother. Enjoy, guys! This is educational- time to get to know your co-eds!
8.     I’m not sure that I believe we all have soul mates, but, I hope so. I joke that my dating experiences will either turn me into a lesbian or “cat lady”, but, I really do hope I can settle down one day.
Now, dates do still exist- they are just less defined. According to studies, about sixty percent of college students have a “friend with benefits”. Personally, I don’t like this. While I personally feel that this would harm a friendship and have not had luck in this field, a lot of people that I know do it. Many people enjoy sex without commitment as pure recreation. Call me old fashioned, but, I've been hurt and don't like complicated relationships very much. In all honesty, I am at the point in my life where I would rather date around and enjoy companionship. Then, if sex comes later, that’s fine too.
Sex is not always wonderful, nor is it like it is in the movies. I know, female hearts are breaking everywhere. However, it can still be just as awesome and mind-blowing. Trust me. The rumors are also true: losing your virginity hurts a lot mentally and physically, especially if/when you guys break up.  
In relationships, women have to be careful about “making things official”. Women and men alike want to know that we have someone if we do. So, what’s the problem? Most of us would prefer it to be on Facebook too. Personally, I don’t enjoy being hidden nor do I enjoy being rushed. There is a very delicate balance that you have to respect. Being labeled as a “nag” is almost as bad as being called a “slut”.
It is my belief that, despite what society says, I can enjoy sex without shame. To be honest, I’m in the best shape of my life and, when you earn something, you should show it off. So, if that means I am more likely to have an offer to have sex than a classmate- fine! About ninety-five percent of the time, I actually turn them down. Jealousy is prevalent, especially amongst women. To be honest, it’s sad and it flatteringly hurts me to the nth degree. Many women my age will probably say the same.

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