Skip to main content

I Had to Miserably Fail at Love

... to love someone better.

I was listening to the new Marsha Ambrosious and her remake of L. Boogie's "Lose Myself" is about as poetic a song as ever and spoke so much to me.


**Disclaimer: I'm not in love. Not by a LONG shot**

But I took the lyrics to mean so much more than actually "losing yourself in love", falling in love and being hurt to actually love someone better. I took it to mean that I had to be an ABSOLUTE FAILURE in love to love someone better. I mean, what greater failure of love is a DIVORCE. I can't imagine that kind of pain happening to me again. I am relatively young woman. To be divorced twice, I can't even and don't want to imagine.

As I enter a new phase in my dating/relationship life (and another year of life, God willing), I know that the pain of my divorce has made me a better lover in the emotional sense. If you release it [pain], you can receive it [love].  There is a beauty in that. I'm grateful for having gone through the fire and came out fashioned better. Not harder. Not bitter. Not colder.

And perhaps someone will reap the benefits of this struggle.

My friends say they "admire my strength". I feel it's nothing to admire. It is just a woman doing what she had to do given the circumstances of life. I'm not martyr. I am not poster child for how divorce can be life-transforming. I'm just living the best way I know how.

Now in addition to living, I'm opening myself at the possibilities of loving (or at least caring).

And that....is a WIN indeed :)

Comments

  1. Well I think with your positive attitude, anything is possible! I guess as they say, what doesn't break us makes us stronger... and better. And you're living proof of that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I've never heard of the song, but I have heard of the artist. Not a fan, though I believe this to be a good rendition.

    I too have friends and family that claim to admire my strength. Like yourself, I hear 'em, yet I hardly understand the admiration.

    Just a brother trying hard to survive and enjoy life, regardless of whatever obstacles are thrown into my path and direction.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Not a fan of Marsha?? WHAT DON! Unreal..she's amazing!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love Marsha's version of this! All the best as you find your love.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Art of the Dirty Talk

I am the queen of talking dirty after dark. I mean I am GOOD at it. VERY good. So much so I dated a guy and for months..all he wanted me to do was speak nasty to him. We never has sex. Nothing. Just a bunch of dirty talk....and he was happy. (Hey..a very safe sex fetish!) Heck..I'm even considering picking up some extra income in this economy and becoming a phone sex operator...my job does NOT pay enough.

I will say there is an ART to dirty talk. You cant be shy. You cant be a prude and say things 1) you are not comfortable saying and 2) that you certainly can't back up if you are in a position to act on those things with a trust partner. 3 ) things you have no real reference point of familiarity with. Don;t say you are down for a "golden shower" if you think that has something to do with "lemonade kool-aid". DOn't pretend to have a weird accent. That would be ROLE playing..and not "talking dirty". BUT a lot of "talking dirty" is role…

Dating and the Dark-Skinned Girl

Often times in the circle of close bloggers, who become friends, we get into debates (albeit friendly ones) but debates nonetheless. I happened to be on my "private" blog site reading a dear friend's blog. I love her to death and she's been like a big sister to me, helping me through my divorce as a shoulder to cry on and listening ear. And although I've never met her in person...I do consider her a friend (that may sound strange to most..but it isnt to bloggers!) She's a gorgeous Black and Mexican woman..living in southern Cal and raising her teenage son amazingly! I was reading her blog...and came across this:

Ok..just a random thought... What is with the expression "LSLH?" Because it's usually used in a negative way, I'm offended by it.It irks me to no end! I mean, does it make us less of a black women because we have lighter skin and long hair? So when I read blogs or websites that use that expression, I think it's sad. So what if I&…

The "Fleece Johnson" Guide to Dating

I am not sure if any of you saw the recent Boondocks where they spoofed prison culture and gayness. Well....if you haven't...here is a little clip of where they got their inspiration from. Fleece Johnson...the Booty Warrior... So yeah...Fleece is a little crazy..but we are about to roll with thiis for a minute. I am about to take the "Fleece Johnson" no holds barred approach to dating. If I see a dude it's going down  like this: I likes ya I wants ya We can do this the easy way Or the hard way....your choice. Now..Fleece might be talking about gay men and booty warrior and "hornin". But..I'm talking about taking the same approach to men. If I see a dude I want..I WANT HIM. Imma have him. We can play games and bullshit and do it the hard way...OR we can do it the easy way...you give in to me and my desires (and yours)..and be happy. Which would you rather have? Would you rather have to do dumb sh*t to work for a good woman? Or take an easy approach with the sam…