The Return of The Tingles

You know, dear readers of Sex and the Southern Belle, I (and I do mean hardly ever) hardly talk about my personal life anymore. Usually I am dishing out advice, random thoughts, give-aways, and even the occasional poem. But this time, I just couldn’t contain myself.

This blog has been my cathartic healing out of a barren situation. I’ve chronicled the highs and lows of being a divorced, African-American woman in a city where women outnumber men 12:1.  Where the Magic City dancer and bootleg model and music producer reign supreme. I’ve had some great experiences. I have a LOT of terrible experiences. I’ve experimented with everything from meeting guys organically, to speed dating, to the wonderful world of on-line dating.  I’ve gone on countless dates to the point where it is exhausting and like a full-time second job. I had given up, settling on focusing on my PhD studies, my working out, and shopping (lol)...

That is…until…

I wasn’t looking for it. To be quite honest, I had rejected any notions of him. Of those creatures with XY chromosomes in general. But then….

He kissed my hand…

I don’t recall the last time a guy actually sat and listened to what I had to say, was generally interested in my academic pursuits, and I didn’t mind listening to someone a bit more talkative than I was. As I talked...he held my hand. And then, he kissed it. I was shocked…like “Do men still do that??”  And I thought back…the last guy who kissed my hand I was married to…and he’d kiss my hand all of the time. I felt warm inside….that is until…

He held my hand…

It may seem insignificant to most. But hand-holding is a lost art. I’m only 5’4”...so to have my hand held by a man way taller than me made me feel wanted...made me feel safe...and he INSISTED. Everywhere we went...he held my hand on our stroll...”You don’t mind do you?” He asked. I calmly said no….but inside I was all warm…and soft…and felt like a “woman” again. I thought it couldn’t get any better…well…until...

He held me….

In a cold diner, we talked and shared a dessert. He laughed. I laughed.  He asked that I sit next to him in the booth to show me some videos of his little nephews dancing. I’m the middle of the video, as I threw my head back laughing; he wrapped his arms around me...and pulled my close with big, warm hands. I froze. He asked was I OK with PDA and I said “Oh I’m fine…” He smiled and said “Good”. That, I thought was enough for me…until…

He kissed me.

Our day was ending. I was standing in front of him, on tippy toes. He smiled, I melted. He took one hand, lifted my chin so that my eyes met his, bent down and kissed me. Enveloped me. Hands on face...hands around my waist…his hands catching a handful of cocoa colored locs. There may have been words but I don’t remember what he said. He may have asked "Are you nervous?" I don't recall.  I was left breathless. Then it happened… I felt it...

Stomach in knots

Stomach doing flips

Jaw started to go limp

Hands started to sweat

Heart started to race

Tongue feeling numb

And the tingles returned.

I missed the tingles. The last time I had those tingles it was my first kiss with my ex. I’m glad they are back. It can only get better from here. *wink*