March 23, 2011

The Return of The Tingles


You know, dear readers of Sex and the Southern Belle, I (and I do mean hardly ever) hardly talk about my personal life anymore. Usually I am dishing out advice, random thoughts, give-aways, and even the occasional poem. But this time, I just couldn’t contain myself.
This blog has been my cathartic healing out of a barren situation. I’ve chronicled the highs and lows of being a divorced, African-American woman in a city where women outnumber men 12:1.  Where the Magic City dancer and bootleg model and music producer reign supreme. I’ve had some great experiences. I have a LOT of terrible experiences. I’ve experimented with everything from meeting guys organically, to speed dating, to the wonderful world of on-line dating.  I’ve gone on countless dates to the point where it is exhausting and like a full-time second job. I had given up, settling on focusing on my PhD studies, my working out, and shopping (lol)...

That is…until…
I wasn’t looking for it. To be quite honest, I had rejected any notions of him. Of those creatures with XY chromosomes in general. But then….
He kissed my hand…
I don’t recall the last time a guy actually sat and listened to what I had to say, was generally interested in my academic pursuits, and I didn’t mind listening to someone a bit more talkative than I was. As I talked...he held my hand. And then, he kissed it. I was shocked…like “Do men still do that??”  And I thought back…the last guy who kissed my hand I was married to…and he’d kiss my hand all of the time. I felt warm inside….that is until…
He held my hand…
It may seem insignificant to most. But hand-holding is a lost art. I’m only 5’4”...so to have my hand held by a man way taller than me made me feel wanted...made me feel safe...and he INSISTED. Everywhere we went...he held my hand on our stroll...”You don’t mind do you?” He asked. I calmly said no….but inside I was all warm…and soft…and felt like a “woman” again. I thought it couldn’t get any better…well…until...
He held me….
In a cold diner, we talked and shared a dessert. He laughed. I laughed.  He asked that I sit next to him in the booth to show me some videos of his little nephews dancing. I’m the middle of the video, as I threw my head back laughing; he wrapped his arms around me...and pulled my close with big, warm hands. I froze. He asked was I OK with PDA and I said “Oh I’m fine…” He smiled and said “Good”. That, I thought was enough for me…until…
He kissed me.
Our day was ending. I was standing in front of him, on tippy toes. He smiled, I melted. He took one hand, lifted my chin so that my eyes met his, bent down and kissed me. Enveloped me. Hands on face...hands around my waist…his hands catching a handful of cocoa colored locs. There may have been words but I don’t remember what he said. He may have asked "Are you nervous?" I don't recall.  I was left breathless. Then it happened… I felt it...
Stomach in knots
Stomach doing flips
Jaw started to go limp
Hands started to sweat
Heart started to race
Tongue feeling numb
And the tingles returned.

I missed the tingles. The last time I had those tingles it was my first kiss with my ex. I’m glad they are back. It can only get better from here. *wink*

4 comments:

  1. I'm glad the tingles are back too!!!! WHOOO!!! I loved reading this post! Aside from the beautiful, poetic lilt of it... it just made me feel good. Cuz i know how long it's been since you really felt a genuine "crush" on a guy - since someone really gave you those special butterflies. The whole date just sounded magical.

    I'm so looking forward to reading updates on this wonderful GENTLEMAN.

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  2. It's good to see you with a crush. You deserve it.

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  3. AWWW!!I'm so excited for you. Seems like someone is having better luck in the dating department. I can't wait to read more.

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  4. I am so glad your tingles are back I haven't had the tingles/butterflies in 10 yrs :-(

    ENJOY and go with the FLOW!!

    Happy belated B day

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