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The Return of The Tingles

You know, dear readers of Sex and the Southern Belle, I (and I do mean hardly ever) hardly talk about my personal life anymore. Usually I am dishing out advice, random thoughts, give-aways, and even the occasional poem. But this time, I just couldn’t contain myself.
This blog has been my cathartic healing out of a barren situation. I’ve chronicled the highs and lows of being a divorced, African-American woman in a city where women outnumber men 12:1.  Where the Magic City dancer and bootleg model and music producer reign supreme. I’ve had some great experiences. I have a LOT of terrible experiences. I’ve experimented with everything from meeting guys organically, to speed dating, to the wonderful world of on-line dating.  I’ve gone on countless dates to the point where it is exhausting and like a full-time second job. I had given up, settling on focusing on my PhD studies, my working out, and shopping (lol)...

That is…until…
I wasn’t looking for it. To be quite honest, I had rejected any notions of him. Of those creatures with XY chromosomes in general. But then….
He kissed my hand…
I don’t recall the last time a guy actually sat and listened to what I had to say, was generally interested in my academic pursuits, and I didn’t mind listening to someone a bit more talkative than I was. As I talked...he held my hand. And then, he kissed it. I was shocked…like “Do men still do that??”  And I thought back…the last guy who kissed my hand I was married to…and he’d kiss my hand all of the time. I felt warm inside….that is until…
He held my hand…
It may seem insignificant to most. But hand-holding is a lost art. I’m only 5’4” to have my hand held by a man way taller than me made me feel wanted...made me feel safe...and he INSISTED. Everywhere we went...he held my hand on our stroll...”You don’t mind do you?” He asked. I calmly said no….but inside I was all warm…and soft…and felt like a “woman” again. I thought it couldn’t get any better…well…until...
He held me….
In a cold diner, we talked and shared a dessert. He laughed. I laughed.  He asked that I sit next to him in the booth to show me some videos of his little nephews dancing. I’m the middle of the video, as I threw my head back laughing; he wrapped his arms around me...and pulled my close with big, warm hands. I froze. He asked was I OK with PDA and I said “Oh I’m fine…” He smiled and said “Good”. That, I thought was enough for me…until…
He kissed me.
Our day was ending. I was standing in front of him, on tippy toes. He smiled, I melted. He took one hand, lifted my chin so that my eyes met his, bent down and kissed me. Enveloped me. Hands on face...hands around my waist…his hands catching a handful of cocoa colored locs. There may have been words but I don’t remember what he said. He may have asked "Are you nervous?" I don't recall.  I was left breathless. Then it happened… I felt it...
Stomach in knots
Stomach doing flips
Jaw started to go limp
Hands started to sweat
Heart started to race
Tongue feeling numb
And the tingles returned.

I missed the tingles. The last time I had those tingles it was my first kiss with my ex. I’m glad they are back. It can only get better from here. *wink*


  1. I'm glad the tingles are back too!!!! WHOOO!!! I loved reading this post! Aside from the beautiful, poetic lilt of it... it just made me feel good. Cuz i know how long it's been since you really felt a genuine "crush" on a guy - since someone really gave you those special butterflies. The whole date just sounded magical.

    I'm so looking forward to reading updates on this wonderful GENTLEMAN.

  2. It's good to see you with a crush. You deserve it.

  3. AWWW!!I'm so excited for you. Seems like someone is having better luck in the dating department. I can't wait to read more.

  4. I am so glad your tingles are back I haven't had the tingles/butterflies in 10 yrs :-(

    ENJOY and go with the FLOW!!

    Happy belated B day


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