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Stepping Outside the Box: Click-a-Date

So my friend J, a tall, voluptuous Blasian girl that would put Kimora Lee Simmons to shame, suggested that I try internet dating. Now..I've been dabbling in the world of on-line dating (really on the peripheral) for a while.

I mean..back in the day, all the college kids used College Club and BlackPlanet. We even had sites for Greeks back in the day as well. All of that seemed rather safe. I mean if anything, with those worlds being SO small, you could have a safe checks and balances. It was invaluable to us as black students. We could connect with folks, sorors and frats. It was fun. I met a few guys from there (mostly fellow Greeks) and dated some long term. I even met my best, closest friends on the Internet. I even reconnected w/ my ex husband via Blackplanet (we had met like 2 years before when he came to my alma mater on a road trip). I digress.....

After the divorce, I had profiles everywhere. BlackPeopleMeet, Match, EHarmony, and even Yahoo. NO hits whatsoever. I even joined Asian Ave trying to find "something new". luck. I keep meeting weirdos and duds. OR the people I contacted never contacted be back. AND it was getting expensive. And I realized also...this was WAY too soon. I needed to take a break.So anyway...J suggested that I try another site. (I am in now way endorsing any site over another..this is just my blog experience). She had been having great results where she was (She's in S. Florida) and met some fine hunks of chocolate. I was like.hmmm... The bonus: It was totally free.

So, given that this was almost a year to the date of my divorce, I felt it was enough time to be away from that medium. I put up a VERY specific profile on there. I waited..and waited. No hits. I got my first hit after about a month of being on there. OMG..dude was SO not my type. After that, I kept encountering guys who just did nothing for me. Men who were not articulate. Men with too many kids. With too many divorces. The guys I contacted were also not contacting me back, *sigh*...Discouraged I thought about giving up.... that is....until..

I was browsing the site at work, bored to death, and came across the profile of one gorgeous, caramel colored brotha with some very intense green eyes. I stared for a second and contemplated not sending anything. "This man is far too good looking", I said to myself. I read his profile, looked at his picture and sent him a simple message: "Hello. Nice Tattoos".

I waited a while and he wrote me back..we traded messages every few days. Finally he sent me his number and said call him. I did but it was very brief. We continued to send IM"s and chat. Finally, today was the day we were to meet in person.

I was nervous and terrified with my stomach in knots. The original lunch date got cancelled due to inclimate weather and I asked him could be meet me at Starbucks near my house. My girl J (And my girl N) was texting me with her suggestions concerns and suggestions on how to
interact. I'd never done anything like this before and I needed help on all ends.

I waited about 30 minutes (was getting nervous and thought about backing out)..and in walks this tall, thick, fine, caramel, green-eyed drink of hot butterscotch sauce! LOL. I almost died..but I had to keep it cool. Brothaman was GORGEOUS. My hands were shaking for a little while and I think I probably had a cheese-eating grin the whole time. I got up and hugged him. (Sidebar: You know how you have one of those hugs you wanna sink into but try hard not was one of those. )

We talked for like an hour about a range of topics, from football to finances. I think after a while we both loosened up and were able to laugh. I asked was I anything like my pictures (I had even let him have privileged FB access) and he said "OH yeah..definitely!" I said "Likewise" (but truly..likewise was an understatement).

Afterwards, we hugged and he left. There were no definite plans of seeing each other again..but I hope so. I texted him and said it was a pleasure to meet him. I mean a girl can be hopeful!

At least I can say that I took a chance and tried a new way of dating.

Would I do it again? Maybe. If the odds were good I'd meet some mean nice man like this (LOL). Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised. I can't stop smiling.

This was totally stepping out of the box for real! :)


  1. Stepping outside the box is a GREAT thing!

    Awww, I love how this is unfolding - will make for a sweet and quirky "love story" should you all continue to go out and eventually end up together. :-)

    Great idea J!

  2. Good luck girl...stepping outside the box can be good sometimes!

  3. Loved this post! Keeping my fingers crossed for you!!!


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