Sex and The Southern Belle

According to a joint Morehouse and Howard University study, 73% of black women WILL be married at least once by age 35. It's a statistic that most overlook during this whole "poor black women cant find a man" media blitz that seems to plague my generation. It truly does give women hope (now whether they remain married is about the same as the national average... of 61%). However... I'm 32. I'm divorced. So does this mean I already had my "at least one time"? Thanksgiving with my family since the divorce has further highlighted that this may be a possibility.  My little cousins, all grown men and women, now have their own families. Some are married. Some are not. Some are with long term partners. Some have "baby daddies"and are doing it solo. But I was supposed to be the "ideal" one in my family: Educated, Pretty, Career Minded. I had the husband and the big fancy wedding to prove it. I had the house. Family holidays w...

I ran across an old tweet... " Fear is paralyzing. I need courage, the ability to fight through fear. I am afraid to be in love because I'm afraid to be FREE. I am afraid to be in love because I am afraid to be and BE dissapointed. Above all else, I am afraid to be in love because...I might actually enjoy it. And for me..enjoyment usually means this is too good to be true..and bound to fail." Gosh...I'm Confucious in this mug.....*smh* (BTW...follow me  @TheMochaPeach)

Being told you are beautiful everyday sometimes you take it for granted...until the day you just stop hearing it all together. ----

I had a bit of insomia the other night and tossed and turned. I decided to turn  to the Oxygen network and low and behold....one of my fav movies was on: Something New with Sanaa Lathan and Simon Baker  Back when I first saw the movie, I wasn't as open to the idea of interracial relationships as I am now. But with maturity comes growth...and for me that growth included a better appreciation for the movie. Sanaa played "Kenya", the main character with tact and beauty. And Simon Baker as "Brian" was hot and steamy. I think my fav scene ever....is when he paints her toes...and tells her she needs a little "Color" in her life. *WHEW*! Talk about sexy..........(oh..and that sex up against the foyer scene was hot too). The irony wasn't lost on me, an English major. The blue-collared (yet college educated) white guy, the "colorless", vanilla guy brings a lot of color to the "boring, vanilla" but professional "colored" gir...

This is a litany For the sweet peach that was me.. Now fermented in what is now a spoiled, rotten pie. First, she grew beautifully Firm and ripe Sweet and juicy Under the southern sun She was plucked...suckled...dripping down the chin of experience. Leaving only a bit to savor. Yet that bit I thought I saved Little known to me was being swallowed up and consumed By the bakers who wanted to put me in a pie And ship me off in a box They bound me up Letting me sit and fester Festering Until the maggots came to devour They fed on my sweetness..my ripeness..my nativeness Until they gorged themselves And vomited out my pit, my core. (Or what was left of it) to stay trapped in the sugary sweetness of an ever baking pie In an even hotter oven. No Ice cream to top me Just flies and mold Then the roaches come To feed on whatever is left.. the crust and crux of me. Atlanta...this peach, your native daughter has outgrown you I've go to go.

 Why is it SO EASY for men to move on? They move to a new city...they quickly fall into finding a new chick to smash. Divorce/Break Up....got a new broad within the week and marry her in 6 months. Break someone's heart...get another chick pregnant. I mean...where is the recovery time for your hear? It seems so cold. Especially cause the next chick won't know she's filler. The old girl becomes afterthoughts...if she doesn't materializes into vapor. Why are my ATL born and raised sensibilities not a good fit anymore in the NEW ATL of fake asses, over 35 year olds in the club, everyone wanting to be a model/star, and no one dating? I gotta get away. I wont tolerate bashing my city..ESP by transplants because they are partly why the atmosphere has changed. I'm tired. The truly Southern Belle I am (and not in a Phaedra way) and that just doesn't mix well now. But if I go...where will I go? Here or abroad? Will it all just be the same? Why are my misfortunes com...

Kandi Burruss promotes her new Bedroom Kandi toy line at Shout Sept. 1, 2011. PHOTO CREDIT: Rodney Ho/rho@ajc.com Former Lead Singer of Xscape and Real Housewives of Atlanta cast member singer/songwriter Kandi Burruss recently launched her own line of sex toys. Kandi said she was inspired by Dr. Laura Berman (whose products I have also reviewed as well).... Kandi looking curvy and fab at her product launch party this past September. The line, entitled "Bedroom Kandi by Kandi Burruss", introduces women to luxury sex toys that are sleek, discrete, and gorgeous with cute little names and "adapters". Lots of products resemble women's items such as lipstick or compacts! Partnering with OhMiBod (famous for their Ipod/Vibrator combination) and designer Matthew Pung , Kandi has launched some pretty "hot" products "Happiness and Joy" vibrator "Kandi Kisses" lipstick vibrator I love that Kandi is branching out into other areas besi...

Ya know, there were two cardinal things that my mother told me never, ever to talk about with my girlfriends when I got married: 1)    You and your husband’s finances: Unless folks wanna put MORE money in your pocket…WTF can they do for you. 2)    You and your husband’s sex life. If you start talking about it…you will lose it. Save it for a therapist if you having problems. And if it’s good, keep smiling, and keep it to yourself…unless you want the next woman to have it. Now, because of unforeseen events, I had to call on my girlfriends for some financial help. So #1 went out the door. But those were trusted confidantes that really didn’t expect to go blabbing about how they helped me. But #2….with all my heart I kept that close to the vest. I never ever shared how my husband and me had a great OR bad sex life. To this day, no one will know that except me and my ex husband. That is the truth. But nevertheless…some people really share too damn much. And your ...

Feeling The weather is changing..so I'm feeling warm, inviting, sexy, alluring..maybe even a little "daring" Like we skipped fall and are going straight into winter. Wow.........*burrr* Cold sheets. I like my sheets ice cold, then gradually warming up. Down comforters Maxwell albums never, EVER get old for me Argyle tights. Patterened tights in general Iphone 4s Winter skin exfoliating That my feet are covered and I can save on the pedicures. This is prob my fav Monica song of all time ............. I like Drake. Sue me! *shrug* I'm gorgeous. I mean absolutely stunning. And it's not my problem if other people don't see it. *shrug* Not Feeling That despite this weather changing, there really is no one to share that with...except my boyfriend TiVo (LOL) That this is me most weekends... (that's cocoa in my mug...LOL) That there is no point to my cell phone. I dont even get that many texts. People don't call.  Yet I want an Iphone 4s? ...

I am always inspired by other bloggers. I read and crack up DAILY at  Awesomely Luvvie's  blog. She is too funny.  The posts that always crack me up are her "sternly worded" letters, to celebrities, commentary on pop culture, and all other forms of rachetness. So, needless to say, she inspired me to do a "sternly worded letter" of my own to men and their use (well..misuse) of the "Hey You" text. Dear Men Of the Free World (Regardless of Race, Creed, Religion, Nationality, or Color): They shoulda never gave you nuggets cell phones.  And with the advent of texting, I definitely wish to hell that that means of communication was never born. I am convinced texting was invented by a cowardly man who wanted to avoid actual communication at all costs.  I mean, you DO know what it's (texting) for right? Texts are quick little joints like "Imma be late" or "Can you pick up some milk?" or "Hey..Emergency..My cat died". You kn...

I will be 33 years old in less than 5 months. By this time, I thought I would have a child by now. But such is not my fate. In less than 5 months, it will also mark my being celibate (I hope) a full year. I siad that I would stop there. But I am thinking I am going to go onward... I'm also a feminist. I am a womanist. And I am also an advocate for fair and equal reproductive justice. I believe I can do what I want, when I want, when it comes to my body and my reproductive rights. I am pro choice. I grew up in a very feminist, pro-choice household that advocated responsible sexual health and access to reproductive care. I will be 33 in less than 5 months. If you can believe it, if I never have sex again....I would probably be ok. *crickets* I know. It seems shocking and unrealistic. But I am at a really good place spiritually.  I feel so free. It is a terrible, drowning burden lifted. This insatiable need to please another person who really could care less. For the f...