September 25, 2010

No One F***CKS Personalities.

(For the record..I don't know this dude... but for the purpose of this blog..he is about the most unsexy, unflattering dude I could  muster up. *sigh*)

One of my friends decided that she, too, wanted to hook me up with someone. Not only did she fail to get to know my standards...she failed at the hook-up rule (see yesterday's post). She sent me a pic of the dude..and he looked like Snuffalupagus. Don;t you remember Snuffalupagus?
(Yes..he was cute and adorable..but only for a few minutes then he was hairy and creepy!)

I told her flat out. "You must hate me. Either you hate me or you find me hideous and feel that I shouldn't date better looking men". She shut her trap and tried to laugh it off. I wasn't laughing.

I posted the following status on FB...

If you try and set me up w/ a dude and he's ugly... what you are REALLY saying is "of course I don't think you're pretty enough for someone better" and you neither love me nor listen. Dude looks like Snuffalupagus...

My Sorors (God Bless them) quickly spoke up and said "Well..I BET he has a great personality".

NEWSFLASH:  For the Record..NO ONE has ever F***ked a personality.



I'm not superficial. A guy doesn't have to be Idris Elba (but lawd..I'd melt if he was..but I digress) but please..let me want to procreate with him and give my kids SOME of his good genes. This dude wasnt even REMOTELY attractive to me. ..and I've dated some pretty ok looking men! Trust me! This is saying a lot. And why did I date those "ok looking" men...because to be quite honest...I wanted to fuck em. Dude didn't even get an "he's OK! I can work with this!" Hell naw.

I've never heard a man say.

"Dude..Im about to go over Tina's house. She gives some GREAT personality! I love that 
hot, steaming personality...especially when she shows her personaltity to me ALL NIGHT LONG"

I've never heard a woman say...

"GURL...his damn personality is OFF THE CHAIN! They way he works his persona makes me soooooooo turned on!  Girl he had me up against the wall with that persona of his! I would have all his babies just to let him put some personality all up in me!"

You see how fucking stupid that sh*t sounds. Yeah....just as stupid as having your answer to "Is he nice looking?" be "Well...he has a GREAT personality". B*TCH..if I wanted to french kiss his personality...I woulda told you so!

You've never heard anyone say that have you?

And when you do....I'll give you $5, some Funyuns, and a pack of Zig-Zags because you MUST be smokin!!!!


  1. "she gives GREAT personality!" I'm dying! I feel you though. The guy has to be attractive for me to even want to listen. he doesn't have to be the finest thing but he has to be something other than a hot mess. Anyone who says looks don't matter is lying. they do to some extent.

  2. This has to be the funniest post I have read in a loooong time. I am so sorry for what your friends have been putting you through they must not like I agree if you're not attracted to him physically then it won't work.

  3. Hilarious!
    As I a guy I completely understand where you are coming from. But I will admit that I have grown more fond of a woman who I was only moderately attracted too because I dug her personality. And for women, the impression sometimes can be that personality means just as much as looks to some of you. Because I got to be honest when I see a fair amount of ugly guys with attractive women.

    But I am with you 100% when you say that having someone tell me about a personality when you ask about appearance is some BS.

  4. Hilarious post. I tried to argue with your logic, only to find that you are absolutely correct. No one fucks personalities. Not unless they are attached to an attractive human being.

    I don't think she hates you and neither do you. It appears that she really felt like dude had something to offer you as far as a solid man is concerned.

    I think you should give him a second date, and see how it goes.




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