Skip to main content

The #1 Hook-Up Rule: A Short Blog

There is a rule to hooking up your friends. It's really simple.....trust me.

"Never hook-up your friend w/ someone who doesn't even meet your basic standards. If YOU wouldn't date him and he's not good enough for you...then why's he ok for your friend?"


This isn't to say that the person has to be YOUR TYPE because of course..everyone's type is different. This isn't about type..this is about really basic stuff. It's really about knowing your friend.
You know she won't date a man with kids...this dude has 5...

If the man has questionable ethics or no spiritual grounding..

If he has a funky, cocky attitude and your girl is laid back...

You don't even find dude remotely attractive.....but he "seems nice" (and that just aint good enough)..then let it go.

If you know your girl is a stickler for good teeth..and you say "he has an overbite and a gap...BUT". Don't qualify that with a BUT!

If you know your girl likes thick, tail-back sized men...and you say "I mean...he's on the Rick Ross side BUT..."...please..don't qualify that with a BUT!

If the dude doesn't like chicks with natural hair....and your friend has an Afro.....

Furthermore....

Just because your friend and the person have two things in common...or happen to both be divorced....or you just both so happen to be in brother/sister Greek organizations...or go to the same freaking dentist....or like to have witty Twitter status updates....

*triple SIGH*

Your friend isnt that desperate. At the same time..she isn't someone without standards. She shouldnt accept any and everything because of their status. Dont tell them "oh you so picky" or "Why not step out your comfort zone!" or "give dude a chance" Guess what....it isn't about that! It's about that person just not having the BASICS. PERIOD. Point Blank.


God bless you single friends..but you all have no clue......*sigh*

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

2018: A Year Without Fear

I used to make these lofty, resolution goals each year. The older I got, the grander my ideas became. That is until I reached the age of 30 and my entire life shifted.

At the time, I was divorced, living totally on my own, trying to rebuild myself financially and trying to figure out my next move toward happiness. That was at the time I started this blog.... which started out as my chronicling the dating and mating of a 30 something divorcee' in the South's Largest Metropolis. I was trying to date. I was trying to establish myself financially. And I was trying to find my purpose.

So much has changed in the almost 9 years since I started this blog. I've traveled alone. I gained and lost friends. I got into a Ph.D. program. I got re-married. I lost my mother, my best friend.... not to mention my uncle, cousin, and aunt. I gained a sweet baby girl.  I went from getting my bliss.... to trying to balance that bliss with my own life..... Yet in trying to find the balance, I alw…

I Had Hope For Other Hair: Confessions in Black Motherhood

I had hoped for other hair...
(My Little One Reading a Book Before Bed)

... for my daughter.

No, I didn't want her to have "good hair"... hair that ebbed and flowed close to the weight of Whiteness. I didn't want that for her.  I didn't want her to have hair that was deemed "managable" or "a good grade". as if you can give hair letter grades or grade it on a curve.

I just wanted her to have any hair other than MY hair. She inherited my hair. And I cried.

When I found out I was having a girl, anxiety was replaced with dread. "Dear God.. I have to learn how to do hair". See, growing up, my mother was my stylist, even way into high school. So in between salon visits, she would relax or press my hair. She'd style it or comb it. And I never worried about it. I tried and tried to do my own hair... and failed. The only style I could keep up were Brandy-inspired box braids (which some poor, Senegalese woman would do for hours) or a very sho…

The Art of the Dirty Talk

I am the queen of talking dirty after dark. I mean I am GOOD at it. VERY good. So much so I dated a guy and for months..all he wanted me to do was speak nasty to him. We never has sex. Nothing. Just a bunch of dirty talk....and he was happy. (Hey..a very safe sex fetish!) Heck..I'm even considering picking up some extra income in this economy and becoming a phone sex operator...my job does NOT pay enough.

I will say there is an ART to dirty talk. You cant be shy. You cant be a prude and say things 1) you are not comfortable saying and 2) that you certainly can't back up if you are in a position to act on those things with a trust partner. 3 ) things you have no real reference point of familiarity with. Don;t say you are down for a "golden shower" if you think that has something to do with "lemonade kool-aid". DOn't pretend to have a weird accent. That would be ROLE playing..and not "talking dirty". BUT a lot of "talking dirty" is role…