Skip to main content

"We Ain't Goin' Steady"..(Oh really??)

*sigh*...ya know...this song pretty much epitomizes what the fuck is wrong with OUR (and I include myself) generation of people..

First off..he opens the song with...."I love pussy...but I don't love these women. I refuse to be in a committed relationship...because I don't like that shit"

*sigh*.  I guess he's honest.  *shrug*. Given that Rocko is a b-rated artist who had not one, but 2 kids by Monica without marrying her..(and praise GOD for her having good sense to move on and GET MARRIED to a man who'd take her and her kids...instead of calling some fake, weak ass chump her "husband".), it doesn't surprise me that he'd make a song like this. If I was a betting woman, I'd bet that this was "Monica-inspired". I'm sure he said "Girl..I know we got 2 kids, live together, and all dat sh*t...but we don't go together. We ain't committed.".. Da hayle???

Then this terd....(in the song)... He said he just wants a "fun girl", his "little buddy",  to "cool it with" and hopes she doesn't "catch feelings" because they aren't "going together"  (as in not a committed couple). disgusting. I mean after a while someone, male or female, is going to "catch feelings". You can't keep doing grown folks things without having grown folks emotions. Secondly, how can you separate a woman's anatomy (the pussy) from who she is (a woman). His male privilege has allowed him to compartmentalize women into things, parts, and temporary possessions. That's the cruelest thing of all. Once again. black women are just the sum of the vagina and its ability to make a dude bust a nut.

"Is this modern dating?", I vehemently ask. Is this what we have to look forward to? What about our future generations of young people? I'd hate for my son or daughter to be hurt by someone who they gave their mind, body and soul to...only for them to say "Well..shit..we ain't together...". about a slap in the face.

Now true...rules need to be established. If you want to be a cut buddy, so be it. But don't just fall into the role of "cut buddy" in the hopes that it'll turn into a relationship. And you want to be an on-call booty call? Trust me, that shit gets so old. Everyone has a desire to be committed and with a person..even the dog...even the whore of Babylon.

Black folks are remaining unmarried and unpartnered at an alarming rate. Many black women are single moms. Many black men are nothing more than breeders. Many people find no reason to partner with someone if they haven't seen the benefits of it. You have our generation, the Hip-Hop Generation X'ers, out here wilding out....what sort of example are we setting? A bad one if you ask me. I even felt bad getting divorced as a thought crossed my mind: "Gosh..I have little cousins..what kind of example am I setting for them when they see a person of their peer group throwing in the towel?". Luckily for them (and me), they don't see a person with a revolving door of partners. And that, apart from my short comings in my first marriage, makes me very happy.

Instead of making songs like this, why can't we have more songs glorifying love and commitment..instead of the casual romp and sexual tryst?

*sigh*...I guess we can't make a song about that...if we don't see it. I just hope more young people aren't falling for the traps that Rocko (and folks like him) are glorifying: the death of the interpersonal relationship and self-gratification.

There is a benefit and beauty in a a committed relationship that can head to actively dating and getting to know a person.

So "go steady"....and get your heart ready to receive something magical. Let's hope this movement of "rejecting relationships" ends soon....


  1. It's really pretty sad. But I do see a resurgence of songs dedicated to real love and commitment. Just too many of them don't get airplay. The best thing we can do is teach the young people we're responsible for to value and engage in committed relationships. We always gotta speak louder than these streets.

  2. "Instead of making songs like this, why can't we have more songs glorifying love and commitment..instead of the casual romp and sexual tryst?"

    I've been wondering the same thing lately. If its not this song its "Toot it and boot it". The best thing I can do is just not support it and turn the station when it does come on.

  3. Oh my gosh, this is the worst song I've heard in a long time. The lyrics are just shameful!!!!!

    Yes, so glad Monica kicked this loser to the curb. Im surprised she would even date him, let alone have him father two kids - as I'm sure he was telling her the same things as well.

    I agree- these types of music send our young, impressionable sisters and brothers the WRONG message. *smh* Not okay.

  4. @curvyecocentric- I couldnt even make it through the whole video. Gag. I know Monica looks at that video like, "Da Hayle was I thinking"??? She scored a BALLER, literally and looks so happy now! Hopefully the young people can look at Monica and other women like her who drop the Zero and marry a Hero! Rocka, Who???...dude is lame.

  5. I'd never before heard a song by Rocko, so it was interesting watching this video, especially since there is a strong possibility that it's aimed at Monica.


    Maybe it's not really how he feels bout relationships. Maybe it's just Rocko trying to sell some records to an audience that lives off this kind of music.

    Then again, I don't even believe such.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

2018: A Year Without Fear

I used to make these lofty, resolution goals each year. The older I got, the grander my ideas became. That is until I reached the age of 30 and my entire life shifted.

At the time, I was divorced, living totally on my own, trying to rebuild myself financially and trying to figure out my next move toward happiness. That was at the time I started this blog.... which started out as my chronicling the dating and mating of a 30 something divorcee' in the South's Largest Metropolis. I was trying to date. I was trying to establish myself financially. And I was trying to find my purpose.

So much has changed in the almost 9 years since I started this blog. I've traveled alone. I gained and lost friends. I got into a Ph.D. program. I got re-married. I lost my mother, my best friend.... not to mention my uncle, cousin, and aunt. I gained a sweet baby girl.  I went from getting my bliss.... to trying to balance that bliss with my own life..... Yet in trying to find the balance, I alw…

Frat Boys, Toxic Masculinity and the #METOO Movement

(scene from Spike Lee's famous School Daze)

A few weeks ago, my sorority held its national convention on New Orleans. Coincidently, another fraternity was also holding their national convention in New Orleans. Naturally, the jokes, mostly in jest, played upon the fact that these two groups, full of single, attractive and smart folks would be "on the prowl" and looking to "hook up" in the city known for its strong drinks, Southern heat, and hospitality. It was all jokes until nastiness decided to rear its ugly head.

You had men in the other fraternity sexually harassing and being obscene to my sorority sisters who just wanted to have fun and handle the business of the sorority (and network.. and yes.. meet men in a somewhat safe space).  There were stories of men groping women. Men saying disgusting things and then being like "Well fuck you then" if women rejected them. You would HOPE and think that college-educated men wouldn't act this way.


The Ides of Birthdays

My 39th birthday is in two weeks.
You know, I feel like I write the same type of blog around my birthday every year. I get extremely introspective and pensive about the whole thing. But this is my last year of my 30s and I am feeling all of the feelings that have ever and could be felt. I hate trying to bring this up to folks.. who are always wanting to remind you of "well.. you got this.. you got that...". As if you haven't dealt with depression long enough to realize it doesn't matter what you have... if one piece is missing.. it throws it all off.
While yesterday was the 3rd anniversary of my mom's passing, I realized she wouldn't be here for my 40th. That was a hard pill to swallow. I thought for sure we'd be celebrating a lot that year... my Ph.D... a baby... a big, fancy car..... all of that. I only have one of those things so far but still... I was hoping that having her hold on at least until then would be the icing on my cake.
My life feels…