April 13, 2011

I'm Not CUTE!!

NOTE: This was supposed to be a video blog. But after I actually recorded it...I realized it got way too personal than I wanted it to be. SO…settle for the written word.
First off, let me say this isn’t a personal attack on anyone. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way…
I am a grown woman. I’ve been grown since I got my period; I was 13 or maybe 14, moved from a training bra to a size C cup in one single summer. Therefore, nothing makes me more irked and irritated than when someone (esp. a MAN) calls me “cute”.  I haven’t been cute in a VERY long time.
Cute is for babies and puppies.
(aww..isn't that cute!!!!..............*crickets* )

I’m sure folks mean well. I think, as a friend pointed out, most guys are trying to be respectful out of the gate. If they hit you with the “sexy” off the jump...then of course the focus is on sex.... Therefore, if he wants more, he’ll use more respectful words. Being respectful…That’s all fine and well. But if you are man that is trying to get to know me (and we’ve progressed wayyyy past the “getting to know you phase” to the “we getting butt naked phase”), “cute” definitely doesn’t need to come out of your mouth. I’m grown. Therefore I am any of these words: beautiful, gorgeous, attractive, fine. And eventually, once things progress (not right off the bat), I am sex, hot, and damn near irresistible. PERIOD. There is no damn CUTE up in there nowhere! And once we cross the threshold of “getting to know each other” into “this might be a relationship”, then I better NOT be hearing that I’m “CUTE” or a “CUTIE” or even worse...”ADORABLE”.
ADORABLE?? Are you fucking your kid sister?? I don’t think so. Nothing makes me feel LESS sexy and unwilling to do all the freaking isht you like…than calling me CUTE or adorable.  Talk about a mood killer.
On a serious note, it just makes me think that things are not as they seem. When I hear that I’m
“cute”, what I REALLY hear is: “You aiight”. Or “You’ll make due” or “You aren’t really my type but I’ll take you for now till the next hot thing comes along”. It doesn’t make me feel l attractive. It doesn’t make me feel sexy. If anything, it makes me feel like a placeholder.  Why on earth are you with me? I wouldn’t be with someone who is just “OK” to me.  And don’t say it’s my sparkling personality. Fuck that…the physical attraction has to be there. It’s like that plus sized girl who constantly gets told “You have such a cute face”. So what about the REST of me???
I read somewhere once that guys who call girls cute really view them as “Well...she’s a girl I’ll date...go out with...have fun…maybe even sleep with…but she’s not meeting my parents...she’s not giving me “butterflies”, she isn’t HOT or drop-dead gorgeous trophy or arm piece I’d brag about to my friends”. (And every guy wants that kind of woman…) In other words, she’s “aiight”. Well…I don’t want to be “aiight” to some dude. I have such high self esteem in recognizing that I am one hot, gorgeous fine full-bodied woman that you TOO need to recognize that as well.
Now I will admit, I’ve always had a problem in general with taking compliments well. But “cute” is one that irks the shit out of me and I just can’t and won’t take well to at all. I am not trying to be a bitch. I’m not trying to be unreasonable. But I’m an adult. And I’d just appreciate an adult compliment.
Leave the “cute” and “adorable” somewhere else…………like a nursery J

1 comment:

  1. It's funny, I think when a woman calls a woman "cute," it's totally different than when a man calls a woman "cute." I agree, the girl he refers to as "cute" usually isn't "the one" for him. On the other hand, if I say about a girl "Oh wow, she's cute," that's a pretty high form of a compliment. LOL



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