Sex and The Southern Belle

(For the record..I don't know this dude... but for the purpose of this blog..he is about the most unsexy, unflattering dude I could  muster up. *sigh*) One of my friends decided that she, too, wanted to hook me up with someone. Not only did she fail to get to know my standards...she failed at the hook-up rule ( see yesterday's pos t). She sent me a pic of the dude..and he looked like Snuffalupagus. Don;t you remember Snuffalupagus? (Yes..he was cute and adorable..but only for a few minutes then he was hairy and creepy!) I told her flat out. "You must hate me. Either you hate me or you find me hideous and feel that I shouldn't date better looking men". She shut her trap and tried to laugh it off. I wasn't laughing. I posted the following status on FB... I f you try and set me up w/ a dude and he's ugly... what you are REALLY saying is "of course I don't think you're pretty enough for someone better" and you neither love me nor listen...

*Note: This blog is a response to my (new-found) cyber homeboy and kindred blog-spirit  over at The Reasonable Bachelor (follow him on Twitter to @JacksonBracey)  He had this hilarious (yet true) list of 5 things that he hates to hear women say. Of course...I posted it to share on FB and it started a little dialogue. The ladies were like "So where's OUR list of stuff we hate to hear men say??" On the fly (and not to be outdone..LOL)...I responded..and this is the polished result* ****   I think that men don't think they get on our nerves. They don't realize that they to have little quirks and sometimes the things they say get on our nerves. They may not be known to be great communicators, but some stuff they say can truly chap our hides and get in the way of effective communications in relationships. Those top 5 things are the following (in no particular order): 1) It's Not That Serious -  So you all have an argument or disagreement. To you, this is t...

There is a rule to hooking up your friends. It's really simple.....trust me. " Never hook-up your friend w/ someone who doesn't even meet your basic standards. If YOU wouldn't date him and he's not good enough for you...then why's he ok for your friend?" This isn't to say that the person has to be YOUR TYPE because of course..everyone's type is different. This isn't about type..this is about really basic stuff. It's really about knowing your friend. You know she won't date a man with kids...this dude has 5... If the man has questionable ethics or no spiritual grounding.. If he has a funky, cocky attitude and your girl is laid back... You don't even find dude remotely attractive.....but he "seems nice" (and that just aint good enough)..then let it go. If you know your girl is a stickler for good teeth..and you say "he has an overbite and a gap...BUT". Don't qualify that with a BUT! If you know your gir...

As I sit here right now, watching the premiere of HBO's highly anticipated Boardwalk Empire ,I am looking around my bedroom. I'm thinking to myself: *sigh*.. What dude would wanna spend time up in here??? My decor is totally wack. I asked my cousin Kel if men cared if a woman's bedroom was "inviting" or not. He busted out laughing and said "Man..all we care about is if that em-eff is nasty as hayle or not". I mean truly, are men that simple? Do they just care if it's neat and tidy? Are women the only one's who are about aesthetics? I have a simply full sized bed. A grown man can't sleep comfortably in here (and trust me..I've tried). I don't even have a TV big enough to enjoy my shows. I have no nightstand, dresser or mirror. It looks like I'm still living out of boxes and I've lived here fore almost 2 years. *sigh*...it's sad. My closet is an absolute wreck...no hangers that look good...boxes all over. A wreck. My joi...

Feeling This Song....Calvin did his thing... Not Feeling  The fact that not enough men express that to women. Yep....that's it for today :)

In boxing, the "corner man" is almost as key an element to a boxer winning the fight as is a nice upper cut or jab. He's the man that gives the boxer encouragement and often times instruction between rounds. Sometimes he's the "cut man"- putting the salve on the wounds of battle allowing you to fight another day, applying the ice packs and reducing the swelling from the pain. The corner man also tells you when to throw in the towel, when the pummeling is too much and the fight isn't fair. I n life as in boxing, you need a corner man. Right now I am in my almost full month of PhD studies. I will admit, shit has not been easy. I got a pretty low grade on my first homework and often times I feel lost in a crowd in class . I am the only black person in my classes.  Because I have to miss work to go to class, I make up those hours by extended my free days almost an extra 2 hrs (So I'm at work almost 12 hrs a day). I'm not sleeping. I eat sporadi...

Commuting to work today...listening to my IPod...I had a revelation on why I'm FINALLY ok with not dating and why Men in this city won’t date me: 1) I am saving money. LOTS of it. I don’t have to spend money on pedis, manis and all that extras like new outfits when I have dates...trying to impress some ridiculous bama who doesn’t care less. Furthermore, dudes expect YOU to come out the pocket a lot. And while I don’t mind doing that eventually...as we get to know each other...I don’t like doing that off the bat. Period. I’m old-fashioned. I can save money on my damn groceries cause your pooh butt ass won’t be sitting on my couch, eating my damn snacks. 2) Men don’t want to date me because I have no car . In this city, that's a requirement. I keep bringing it up (I know you are tired of hearing it) but I get tired of dudes saying I live so far (yet I live 6 miles from downtown..THEY live far). They are used to girls meeting them in places for dates and etc. Coming to THEIR...