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Red Light Special: One Day in Amsterdam (NSFW)

Our Guest Blogger is AJ. She's a foodie and world traveler. She's also one of my oldest and dearest "cyber-friends"...if you can imagine that! She's decided to give us a little Black American's tourist view of good old Amsterdam and their red-light district as she travels Europe this month for work.
(For more food related posts from AJ, visit her at


Hey Guys!

Note:  I am a food blogger, but I just HAD to get these thoughts out - and I thought Ms. Mocha Peach's sexy lil blog was the perfect stage for my sex-inspired encounter.

Some of these images may be slightly graphic.  This post is SO not safe for work. 

For 3 weeks, I straddled (no pun intended) the fence about whether I should go on a weekend trip to Amsterdam while I was in Europe for business. 
Decided at the last minute to book a ticket.  I arrived in cloudy, misty Amsterdam at about 10am.  Not unlike other trips I plan while overseas, I have a few places where I know I would love to visit, but other than that, I sort of let my feet take me wherever.  Traveling alone is awesome!  You don't feel tied down to anyone, you can be a complete tourist (or not) - I love it.  After i did a quick-hit tour of the city via boat on the lovely amsterdam canals, I hit the red light district.

I had no idea where this place was - i just followed the hordes of young college aged men. :)  Before I knew it, I was walking on lovely cobblestone streets with girls/women in little glass booths.  Yes, the Infamous Amsterdam Red Light District.

If you'd like to know more about the history of the Red Light District, check out this link. (History of the Red Light District 

I will say that visiting the Red Light District was a very interesting experience...

Top 11 interesting thoughts/things I learned while walking through the red light district.

1.  Sex Sells.  I get it.  However, do I really need a penis shaped coffee mug?  Or a tshirt with some sort of sex position on it?  Or perhaps Pinocchio with not only a growing nose, but also a growing penis.  OR how about a cute little stuffed bunny rabbit with a huge penis.  I can imagine that men with small penises probably get penis envy around all these phallic symbols all over the place.

I'll never look at little Pinocchio the same again... 

2.  Don't take pictures of the prostitutes while they're getting their hustle on.  Or ever.  Would you like to know how I know?  Ok, since you asked... I read on travel blogs that you might get cursed out trying to take a picture of the prostitutes catching a 'date'.  Of course I'm hard-headed...  I learned this first hand! LOL! I even tried to be slick by taking a picture of the geese swimming in the canals, then sort of panned my camera up to where the guy was (i guess) asking for her price.  Keep in mind that I was across the street.  This half naked girl jumped out of the window and was screaming at me in Dutch.  I'm sure she called me fat, and probably some racial epithet as well.  But hey - at least I'm not a prostitute! *ole bony heffa! hmph* But I guess I could understand her frustration - ths is her job - although quite unsavory for my tastes, but i'd hate to have somebody gawking at me when I was trying to do my job.

See the Red Lights?  And the Prostitute?

3.  To the women out there that feel like they aren't (insert any and every physical insecurity) enough....There is someone for everybody.  I saw girls of all races, tiny girls, no boobs, curvy girls with big booties, old women, and even plus sized girls (Hell this one sista looked like ME in a g-string! WTF?!).  And - there was SOME man out there that liked each one of them.  I swear that I saw a dude in full drag, but that's another story for another blog.  (Ok - fine - this ...person had huge boobs, but the face was all hard and manly.  I suppose it could've been a woman??  ok. probably not)

4.  I'd probably go to a peep show if I were there with my husband.  Primarily because I'm nosey. but not nosey enough to do it alone. it would be rather creepy alone. Did I just admit that?  shh.  keep it between us.

Peep Show!

5.  If I didn't see a dildo ever again, I'd be ok.  I walked in several sex stores, and i think I got sensory overload.  
 One of Many Sex Shop Storefronts

6.  I walked in one sex museum, and saw a mannequin dressed in a Santa Claus costume while riding a bedazzled bike.  I thought that it was strange, until I actually examined the bike.  Well...see this picture.

I see why she was pedaling so hard! The jury is out regarding which hole that pole is going...

7.  Europeans pay FAR too much money for sex toys.  Like, you seriously wanted 25 EURO (which is about 30-40 bucks) for a regular run of the mill bullet?  California Exotic sells all over the world, and buddy, you're getting hosed!   

8.  There are some...interesting fetishes out there in the world.  I guess it turns somebody on...I'm gonna leave it at that.

9.  Could you imagine 'the Hangover' in amsterdam?  Dude might not have went back to the US to get married!

10.  Americans are prudes. There would be demonstrations and all sorts of madness going on.  I guess Amsterdam figures - they're gonna do it anyway.  Why not legalize and (I'm SURE!) tax the prostitutes!

11. I imagine what the rooms smell like.  They probably smell like cheap french perfume, herring, waffles, and weed.  Oh, I forgot to mention - Cannabis/Weed/MaryJane is legal as well in Amsterdam.

One of Many Coffeeshops in Amsterdam

  Hope you enjoyed my little visual tour of Amsterdam's Red Light District!



  1. Good lawd. O_o

    And yes I agree... Americans (least the ones making the laws in this country) are prudes -- or rather, freaks masquerading as prudes... whatever. But yeah, gotta put this one in my mental Rolodex: must take trip to Amsterdam. Full stop.


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