(Kim..you were beautiful but girl..3 dresses?? Nah....)
Random Wedding Vent: After watching
a) when folks do a Bruh-man "bop" down the aisle or a slow two step or some kind of elaborate processional. Foolishness. Just walk at a normal pace....
b) explicit rap lyrics at the reception. Granny does not need to hear "F*CKING Problems"by A$AP Rocky in all its glory
c) folks who eat before the bride and groom get their food. We get it..you are hungry....
d) bridesmaids dresses that do not take into account everyone's body type. Everyone doesn't need to be in short or strapless. How rude of you....
e) lude and "bedroom" type private dances for the groom. Dont't nobody's MeeMaw need to be subjected to that either.
f) actually choreographed dances to Beyonce or anything else makes me sick. We get it..he made your 'LOVE ON TOP" or has you "drunk in love" or some other Bullsh*t...smh
g) too many dress changes. This is not a fashion show. You paid good money for that dress..wear it!
h) shaky camera work. DO better....
i) getting in front of the photographers to take a pic w/ your ragged ass Iphone. We got photographers for that!
j) people who disregard the assigned seating chart. You're just an asshole.
k)people who are wearing Jeans and T-shirts and then someone else is in After 5. Be explicit about a dress code. That's truly the bride/groom's fault...and well..some folks have no tact.
l) 80 bridesmaids. Ask yourself? In a year..will you still be talking to these people? Will they be praying for you and your mate? Can you count on them in a jam? My guess is prob no...
m) Vows dryer than day old bread. IF you are gonna write your own vows and aren't that creative, just ask someone for some help..it's quite alright.
n) Pastors who wanna sermonize and admonish the bride and groom. Really??? Aint the time or the place, bruh!! smh.
o) couples who want to sing to each other...and they can't sing a tap! whew! Spare us!
p) Dudes who make mad inappropriate speeches at the toast about how many "hoes" your dude had or how much of a "wild" dude he used to be. Who wants to hear that shit?
q) Your drunk aunt/uncle. While they tend to get the party live, you gotta watch out for them at the open bar.
r) People sitting in the "reserved" area. While you may think you are special..you aren't family. I don't care if you are called "play cousin" everyone doesn't deserve the "front seat" in your life
s) gaudy makeup with gaudy jewelry and gaudy dresses. Just...gaudy.... I can't explain it.
t) crying kids. If you know your baby gets easily agitated..why the hell would you bring a baby to a wedding? Weddings are for adults generally..adults who wanna get sauced! Now the baby can be heard all on the wedding video. *smh*
u) not allowing the bride and groom to eat...nah I dont play those bald-headed games. We eating you can get a pic later....(LOL)
v) wedding hash-tags. They are just uber lame to be............#YouarenotaTrendingTopic
w)complaining ass guest. The keywords is "GUEST" and being invited to a wedding is an honor. I get if it is late (which I hate and is super rude to your guests)..but you aint gotta eat the food..cake..or drinks or like the DJ. LOL
x) late anyone: vendors, guests, etc....be on TIME.
y)Wedding planners who look a mess. You are the wedding planner and you need to look hella professional. That means you need to have on a nice dress, comfy but stylish shoes, hair done and makeup on. You need to have business cards on you to give out. How do you expect to drum up any more business looking less than on point?
z) and finally..making up your own RSVP rules. If we said 2 seats are available..then that's what you get. You do not get to scratch that out and add 8. Not how it works, son! This is a holy sacrament, not the VIP at the Velvet Room or Mansion or something... also just not RSVP-ing at all and showing up and expecting to be seated front row. Get your entire life!
Welp...I have 5 more months to go...and I am sure I may come back to this list and expand it beyond the letter Z! LOL