The Abortion: A Poem

The night I found out...
I had it.
I felt it.
It kicked and moved inside of me..
I knew it would grow and grow
and manifest into something so beautiful
Something wild and free
That grew out of love
I'd rub the place where it lived
without a name or a place
or a time in which things would

I thought I did everything right this time
I took care of it.
Thought of every scenario
and prepared for it.
It let the possibilities be planted there
And you told me I could keep it.
I could have it all to myself.

Then the possibilities grew..and grew..
until it felt was though I was bursting.
And nothing fit anymore
because i was running over with happiness.
And I glowed
And everyone saw it...

I was ready. more than willing
to carry this thing through
full term
But i heard Bob say..
"Kill it before they grow..."

I never said I'd be the perfect vessel for this
But you weren't the perfect donor
I knew that. And I knew only imperfect people can make a perfect love.


Maybe I'm not meant to mother it
to be a place to let this grow
and where seeds like this can be planted
maybe I'm just a surrogate.
sometimes. not all the time.
But sometimes..
It would be nice if it would stay.
if it would grow.


I wish love would have grown.
I wish you would have let it.
Before you killed it.