September 25, 2012

Cuddling AKA Sexual Skulduggery

It is a super rainy day in ATL. The rain is signaling that fall is fast approaching here and summer is getting its last hurrahs.  There is a slight chill in the air and the rain is beating against the window.

It's officially fall.

You look at your cell phone.

Is that a text?

It's officially "cuddle season".

Oh is the time of the season where people have to choose to find a "cuddle buddy" aka "a winter boo" aka "cuffing season partner". And it all begins with "cuddling".

You know how it goes. You get a call on a night like this from a dude...say you've had an interest in him for a while now. It could be a dude you used to mess with a while ago. The weather is changing. You might have gained a few pounds and you're a nice "warm body of thickness".  He says.."Hey...I just wanna come over...bring a movie...and "cuddle".

*side eye*...cuddle huh?

I am not about that life. Cuddling is simply the gateway drug of choice of most douche-bags. (LOL). It simply means that they use this as a means to an end to get the panny-drawers. starts with cuddling. And then you are kissing. Then you feel a big ol baseball bat sized d*ck in your back...And the next thing you know you are doing your own rendition of Jada Fire vs. Lexington Steele's knob-slob fest  (Don't look that might be a real movie I am not even don't quote me)..then the next thing you know you are making pancakes in the morning.

Oh...don't act like that hasn't happened to you! You know you have been duped into the whole "cuddling" thing. It is nothing but sexual skulduggery. That dude had no intentions of just "cuddling". Just be honest and say "Look..I want to come over and smash..and maybe make eggs in the morning. I don't wanna be your man".

I've had arguments with guys that cuddling can simply be cuddling. So what is this? A cuddle party? We all know how I feel about the idea of "cuddle parties" and that's just dumb. I do not believe it. You need more people.

I am sure you can cuddle without sexual repercussions. But if you are a person who is trying to practice celibacy or trying to wait until you have real, deeper intimacy, then cuddling may not be the way. RESIST TEMPTATION AND FLEE THE DEVIL! (lol) Cuddling is just entirely too deeply an act. You have skin to skin contact. Your breathing is intermingling with someone else. Surely intimate conversations are happening.


Cuddling. Nope. I'm not about that.

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