Sex and The Southern Belle

Feeling: HALLOWEEN! It is prob my fav non-holiday holiday....next to Thanksgiving crazy costumes families who participate. Like my girl Yakini over at PrissyMommy.com . I'm sure she has something  in store! She's always so bomb with her creativity. I'm dressing up for the first time in like 3 years AND going to a party. You'll have to wait and see what I'll be! I always think about how I wanted to be Wonder Woman and ran out in the cold on Halloween  in my Underoos, red cowboy boots,  and my mama got so mad Candy goes on sale the day after, KIT KATS FOR EVERYONE! It's.....The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown!! I'll have peace and quiet and no kids knocking cause kids in condos/apartments do not trick-or -treat. They go to the mall..which seems so lame to me. Parties! With a spiked punch!!!. (I throw the best parties..although I'm not having one..just going to one) Can I say Kit Kats again??? I'll be around friends this year. It should be a ...

Other than "Rolling in the Deep", this song has been covered more than a few times (Ok.."Marvin's Room" might be a distant second). It was originally recorded by Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham (of all people), and then stolen by Beyonce on her B'Day Album. BUT..my favorite version is the one by Jazmine Sullivan. Her vocals are deeper, richer and she just seems more emotionally invested in the song. Her phrasing is on point and you can just feel her pain. My favorite lyric of the entire song is this: "And I may never understand why... I'm doing the best that I can, but I... Just can't seem to get over, the way you hurt me Don't why you gave another, who didn't mean a thing... the very thing... you gave to me" This song just resonates with me so much. I've resented so much in love and loving. The question remains.."How do you get past it?" Nevertheless, I'll keep listening to Jazmine and knowin...

In reading Audre Lorde (who is my fav author if you don't know by now), I realize that she hits on some real points that resonate even 40 years later. One point being, that if you are outside of the "norm", the heterosexual norm (whether you be gay or straight), pushing against male sexual advances and their aggression, then you are always branded a "lesbian". If you have no children...you must be a lesbian. If you aren't having sex...you must be a lesbian. If I won't give you my number, I'm a straight up dyke. No perm? Lesbian... Audre Lorde said it best: "Today, the red herring of lesbian-baiting is being used in the Black community to obscure the true face of racism/sexism" At first I thought the whole idea of  men calling you a lesbian was immature and just out of date. Surely, guys these days don't feel that way in this age of sexual freedom and liberation. That is until it happened to me. The Scene: My Office at Noon. I get a...

Feeling I love this. I got this from my boy's FB page. That my ankle is somewhat improving...Praise God This song by Zhane............still resonates with me. OH! And this one Black bras. I have about 10 of em. Seriously... The Occupy movement. I feel them........(despite some of them being privileged white people.) This new Robin Thicke....can't wait till we get a new album from him. Bubble baths with chilled glasses of Chardonnay. That may just be my fav wine actually... Hot cocoa...curled up w/ my afghan and Netflix That I dropped this wretched class. I think I have a crush again. It's lame. It's cute. I don't care. My little Nicki Minaj nameplate necklace that I got. I got my real name..it's cheesy. It's fun. *shrug* Kindle Fire..YES PREODERD Iphone 4s...ON IT How beautiful and awesome that my friends think I am I've been divorced almost 3 full years... I am glad to be here still. Spring break in Playa del Carmen...............yessss...

"Black women are programmed to define ourselves within this male attention and to compete with each other for it rather than to recognize and move upon our common interests."- Audre Lorde

Way back in 2005/2006 (which seems like umpteen years ago), back when two fly ass chicks from LondonTown were together, when one had locs and one wasn't quite a skinkty and multi platinum as she is now (lol), they made beautiful music together and called it FLOETRY . Although Natalie Stewart (the Floecist) and Marsha Ambrosious (the Songstress) do not make music together, the optimist in me hopes that they get back together.... But until then, I will post an acapella song that captures where I am right now in my feelings... I first heard them do this song way back that summer during the Budweiser Nu-Soul Concert Series (FOR FREE) in Centennial Park. It resonated with me back then, and still does now. Maybe part of me wishes they'd get back together, begging for a reunion. But until then...I'll use this song as my spring board to "fantasize" about "being in someone's history forever".

I was browsing Facebook one day and came across my friend’s status that said something like…. “I often wonder what single people who are itching to settle down and get married think they're missing out on." My friend is a sweet person, a great mom and loving wife... but I must say I was in no mood that day to read that. I don’t even think she realized how condescending the question was. It was beyond condescending... it was insulting.   Now, this is in no direct attack of my friend's standpoint, but folks have got it twisted, and I can clearly see why. I guess because I’ve been on both sides of the fence I know about the ache and hunger of marriage, how the dream gets fulfilled, and then the dream gets deferred and now you are back out here, aching and hungering for marriage. I know that marriage isn’t all wine and roses.  I never went into it with rose colored glasses...lofty expectations, yes..but never unrealistic ones. I know it is hard work. I know it isn’t going to ...

I am not sure what my newfound obsession with Lenny Kravitz is. I've loved him since I was a teenager, honestly. He was different. He was ecclectic, funky, soulful and rock-n-roll and a bunch of other genres all together. Under that tougher than leather look of his, is a sensitive soul. His smoldering good looks (no doubt attributed to his mother Roxy Roker of "The Jeffersons" Fame).  But he's no doubt beyond hot. SO hot in fact, I've started a "Lenny Kravitz Pic of the Week" on my personal FB page. *le sigh*....isn't he something.....a work of art I think!!  And looking damn good to be almost 50 years old. YEP..Lenny is knocking on 50s door! Hammercy, ya'll! And on top of being an awesome rocker, a pretty good actor, father to a budding actress, Zoe,  he's also an amazing photographer. Talk about SKILLED! Check out some of his work that was featured in Vogue Russia. But I wanted to post not one...but TWO of my fav Lenny Kravitz songs. ...

" There is a popular discourse about whether black women are too picky, but from all that I have seen, it is black men, particularly sought after and successful black men, who are the pickiest of all"- Ralph Richard Banks in Is Marriage for White People ? The cover of the first Essence asked the question: "Sensual Black Man...Do you Love me?" It also addressed issues of identity, beauty, class, and careers. So it was no surprise, decades later, I was reading an Essence magazine a few months ago that was a full issue dedicated to black women, dating, career, mating and our general woes. I was annoyed to say the least. Haven’t we exhausted this issue enough? Goodness gracious. [ insert eye roll].  But an article featuring author/historian-lawyer-social economist Ralph Richard Banks intrigued me. I raised an eyebrow. Wow…finally a book that doesn’t point fingers but really is looking for issues and explaining everything from a socio-economic standpoint, not ...

In this latest installment of "Ask TheMochaPeach", a young lady asks if she is being played or lied to by a dude via evidence on facebook. Dear Mocha: I met a guy over the summer and I thought we hit it off. He came up to me in the smoothest of ways at an event  for urban professionals (aka Happy Hour) and I was smitten. He was FIONE. We hit it off all night, even going to dinner the next day. He told me he was out of a relationship and had a 3 year old daughter he was really all about. Educated, smart and funny...we talked all the time. And even went out a few times. And his kisses were amazing! Well all of a sudden the calls stop. And I sorta don't know why he fell off into the Black Abyss of Men Who Do That Sh*t but he did. I was devastated. I thought we hit it off.  I was a little taken aback but I let it go.  Well..like 3 months later (YES..3) he calls me out of the blue saying that he knows he fell off but he had good reason. His baby mama was acting ...