When you were born, you were born with a certain blood type. Most of us are O+, the universal donor. Some of us are O-, AB+, and even rarely, B+. We had no control over the blood type that we were born with….we have no control with the way we were created. We are who we are. It’s part of your DNA.
Much of the same can be said with the type of person you are when it comes to the opposite sex. Some are the “fly by night”types. Some are the “serial dater” types. Some are “wallflowers and recluses”. Some are the “sex and that’s it types”. Some are “non-committal”. A lot of this is shaped by life’s experiences but most of the times, it’s just who you are. But as for me, I am the “relationship type”. And I’m rather proud of that.
I had a conversation with someone about just having a “friend with benefits” and they laughed at me and said “I don’t think that’s your thing. You seem like the relationship type”. It wasn’t said with reverence or admiration. More of accusatory tone like “Ugh...you just HAVE to be in a relationship...HOW LAME. You mean to tell me you just can’t do the sex thing. And because of that…I don’t think I could deal with you”. (These are all presumptions btw…lol) I was taken aback, I’m like “Yo..I can be the SEX type...but what’s so wrong with being the relationship type? Is that so bad these days? And who wants to be?” This honestly, is fine with me. I am not the strictly “sexual” type. I mean we all have our urges and needs, and sometime we give into them. But going into 10 months of being divorced, I can’t imagine myself just being “Samantha Jones” for the rest of my adult years. Even Sam settled down for a few stretches in her sexual adventures.
I’m totally cool with being the “relationship” type. It’s ok that it’s part of my DNA. I feel comfortable in relationships yet at the same time, my life doesn’t revolve around it. I mean, I was married for God’s sake AND I’m divorced. So clearly, I can be without a relationship as well…but at the same time, I was built for “comfort” not for speed.
When the time comes, I’d like for someone to appreciate the fact that I value relationships. I think with proper time and growth and prayer, they can become valuable to you. Some may last. Some may not. In either regard, they are there to teach you something. But I am certainly not going to apologize for being who I am when it comes to dating. I am not going to change my habits. I’ve done that far too many times when I was in my 20’s and I am too old for that now.
So I’ll proudly show my card that I am the “relationship type”-donating my love, my heart, my time and my warmth to someone who deserves it. It's life sustaining...
Let’s hope I get my “match” the next time around…..