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2018: A Year Without Fear

I used to make these lofty, resolution goals each year. The older I got, the grander my ideas became. That is until I reached the age of 30 and my entire life shifted.

At the time, I was divorced, living totally on my own, trying to rebuild myself financially and trying to figure out my next move toward happiness. That was at the time I started this blog.... which started out as my chronicling the dating and mating of a 30 something divorcee' in the South's Largest Metropolis. I was trying to date. I was trying to establish myself financially. And I was trying to find my purpose.

So much has changed in the almost 9 years since I started this blog. I've traveled alone. I gained and lost friends. I got into a Ph.D. program. I got re-married. I lost my mother, my best friend.... not to mention my uncle, cousin, and aunt. I gained a sweet baby girl.  I went from getting my bliss.... to trying to balance that bliss with my own life..... Yet in trying to find the balance, I always had some trepidation. Some kind of fear of failure.
Not anymore...

This year is going to be a shift in my thinking. So much of my life has been lived in fear. I don't wanna fail as a student... a mom.. a wife...an employee...a writer. I am scared to branch out and do things that are different.I am scared to walk in my calling.  Heck, I am even too afraid to change my hair because I am afraid I'll have a peanut head. I am living by one word and one word alone...

My word for 2018 is ...

FEARLESS

Everything I intend on doing this year, I am going to do (or at least get started). Mark my words. I will change my hair. I will start a small business. I will work on perfecting my writing and securing an agent. I will attend workshops and conferences. I will figure out what the hell to do with this dissertation. I will be organized: my home, my life, my spaces of creativity. I will take care of my body from the inside out.I will not obsess over my weight. I will plan things ahead of time. I will not beat myself up about what kind of wife and mom I am. I will be financially fearless (meaning.. I won't worry about money so much yet I will be budget conscious. I will be willing to invest in things I think might be a risk.. but will pay off in the long run). I will dedicate myself more to this blog and invest in its appearance. I will go to therapy as part of self-care. I will learn to swim. I will learn to do my kid's hair better. I will speak up in my professional life and change careers if necessary. Most of all...



I will conquer fear.



But first, let me write this all down in my Happy Planner 

SN: (Yeah, I am officially a HP Junkie....that's another post.)




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