Skip to main content

Ciara: Reckless Reposting, #LevelingUp and Fucking Up

Image result for ciara and russell wilson daughter
(Ciara and husband Russell Wilson)

Let's talk about Ciara and how she, God bless her soul, forget where she came from.....

Earlier this week, she decided to repost a sermon by Fat-Fuck-Ex-30-Year-Old-Virgin John Gray, ex-comedian turned minister (and OWN reality show personality), who was talking about women not wanting to be wives....because they walk around in the spirit of girlfriend.. or some misogynistic bullcorn. I can't remember all of it. So I will just link it here, reluctantly.

Oh, Ciara, Miss Riverdale Princess of Crunk decides to repost this with the hashtag #LEvelUp, leaving all of us scratching our heads. Lest we forget she was about to marry an UBER FUckboy named Future, had a baby by this dude, gets dumped... and moves on to Russell (who we all were cheering for because he was a decent man). She has what I like to call "marital amnesia"- we forgot our wayward ways when we get married.. (well, some of us do, I don't)....

The fault is not all on Ciara. She was reposting something some tubby minister was saying. We can talk about WHY she reposted it though: Sexual Repression, Guilt and the Church.

As a two-time married woman, I will tell you, I've been there. I thought "casting out my sins" and guilt about my divorce, getting closer to god, even being celibate for a while was the anaswer. It wasn't. When I let that go, and lived my life, and loved myself OUTSIDE of those constraints, I was able to receive love that is not perfect, but that is positive.

As I said on my personal Facebook Page (which has now gotten reposted a LOT of I went Viral!)...

This whole debacle w/ Ciara has me like...I wish the church would stop holding single/hurting women hostage. On the flipside..stop having married Christian women believe their sh*t don't stank. Lest we forget, Ciara was an unwed single mama to an ain't sh(t dude..... And guess what.. THAT IS OK! You live and learn... I think Ciara just needs teaching and not "canceling" over this matter. While I am on a roll...

Church...Stop selling the LIE of the "sin of premarital sex" and the glorification of being a wife. STOP. You got 50-year-old virgins out here still "holding on" for a good man. STOP!

Stop using the story of Ruth to tell single women to "hold on" for her Boaz. Ruth was sucking d*ck down to the get that Boaz.

Stop trying to make women uphold themselves in a Proverbs 31 way... it is problematic as hell. Furthermore, you got mad people making a KILLING monetarily on single women and how to "get a man/be a wife" but the church does absolutely NO preparation for men on how to be husbands/partners.

Stop using women (esp single women often deemed unattractive/broken) in the church w/o allowing them to have an active voice within the ministry. Women are not your mules.

Stop putting men in positions to use, abuse and blame women for their own hurt/abuse. Men don't know sh*t from Shine-Ola about being a woman.

Stop using our LGBT brothers and sisters in music ministry, youth outreach, etc... and then damn them to hell in the next sermon.

If women and LGBT folks stop going to church, it would fall apart.

Ciara, for what it is worth.  is a good Southern girl who got caught up in some rachet mess...and found her way back to love. She, as most good church girls are taught, that a man is an answer. Marriage is the crown jewel of being repentant of your heaux past.  And now she feels redeemed enough to tell women to "get right" to get a man. It isn't her fault. It is the conditioning of spirituality and the church that had her messed up. She's since made a slight retraction and I am here for it. No canceling of Ciara is needed. We all have problematic faves. She just needs to brush up on some reading and remember her fans, women, who were here for her during her time of being dragged to hell by Ashy Larry HOTEP rustbuckets.

The church is holding us hostage to these ideals. And until we get free, we will have a lot more Ciaras, John Greys and unrepentant Futures (Oh yes...).  And that indeed is a bleak outlook on black love.


Popular posts from this blog

2018: A Year Without Fear

I used to make these lofty, resolution goals each year. The older I got, the grander my ideas became. That is until I reached the age of 30 and my entire life shifted.

At the time, I was divorced, living totally on my own, trying to rebuild myself financially and trying to figure out my next move toward happiness. That was at the time I started this blog.... which started out as my chronicling the dating and mating of a 30 something divorcee' in the South's Largest Metropolis. I was trying to date. I was trying to establish myself financially. And I was trying to find my purpose.

So much has changed in the almost 9 years since I started this blog. I've traveled alone. I gained and lost friends. I got into a Ph.D. program. I got re-married. I lost my mother, my best friend.... not to mention my uncle, cousin, and aunt. I gained a sweet baby girl.  I went from getting my bliss.... to trying to balance that bliss with my own life..... Yet in trying to find the balance, I alw…

I Had Hope For Other Hair: Confessions in Black Motherhood

I had hoped for other hair...
(My Little One Reading a Book Before Bed)

... for my daughter.

No, I didn't want her to have "good hair"... hair that ebbed and flowed close to the weight of Whiteness. I didn't want that for her.  I didn't want her to have hair that was deemed "managable" or "a good grade". as if you can give hair letter grades or grade it on a curve.

I just wanted her to have any hair other than MY hair. She inherited my hair. And I cried.

When I found out I was having a girl, anxiety was replaced with dread. "Dear God.. I have to learn how to do hair". See, growing up, my mother was my stylist, even way into high school. So in between salon visits, she would relax or press my hair. She'd style it or comb it. And I never worried about it. I tried and tried to do my own hair... and failed. The only style I could keep up were Brandy-inspired box braids (which some poor, Senegalese woman would do for hours) or a very sho…

The Art of the Dirty Talk

I am the queen of talking dirty after dark. I mean I am GOOD at it. VERY good. So much so I dated a guy and for months..all he wanted me to do was speak nasty to him. We never has sex. Nothing. Just a bunch of dirty talk....and he was happy. (Hey..a very safe sex fetish!) Heck..I'm even considering picking up some extra income in this economy and becoming a phone sex job does NOT pay enough.

I will say there is an ART to dirty talk. You cant be shy. You cant be a prude and say things 1) you are not comfortable saying and 2) that you certainly can't back up if you are in a position to act on those things with a trust partner. 3 ) things you have no real reference point of familiarity with. Don;t say you are down for a "golden shower" if you think that has something to do with "lemonade kool-aid". DOn't pretend to have a weird accent. That would be ROLE playing..and not "talking dirty". BUT a lot of "talking dirty" is role…