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You Too Old to be #Insecure

Let's talk about one of my fav new shows... Insecure! And why I better not ever see anyone over the age of 35 making these mistakes.



A little background... Issa Rae is the creator of the show, which has its roots on Youtube in its previous incarnation as Awkward Black Girl. This is totally different though. It is about the love life of Issa and Lawrence... their friends Molly, Chad, Kelly and Tiffany. All while navigating micro-aggressions in the workplace and all around foolishness in South Los Angeles. It's an amazing show with a dope soundtrack and an amazing cast. Last season (SPOILER ALERT), Issa and Lawrence broke up because Issa cheated. She cheated because she got fed up and bored with Lawrence and his lame penis and his even lamer excuse for not finding stable work. In the end, Lawrence ends up banging the teller at his bank (Tasha) who was flirting with him, coming to his job with titties up to her chin. On top of all of this, Molly and Issa, two BFFs had a serious falling out because Molly keeps making dumb mistakes with dumb dudes, just trying to find love. The one time she could have had love, she dismissed it because the guy admitted to her he had experimented with same-sex relations. That turned her off and made her judgmental (even though she had admitted ot having a threesome). In the end, the finale made folks either #TeamIssa or #TeamLawrence. Men were mostly cheering on Lawrence who banged the hot teller. Women were hurting for Issa.  And it made someone like me. a person well into their 30s, re-examine the dumb mistakes I made along the way to finding romantic happiness. 

So here is my rant though.... "Issa Rant" (ha!): Why are so many of y'all team Lawrence? Especially women!!! First off, aint no teams on this show because everyone is Team Bad Decisions. But especially Lawrence. First, this nigga was living off a chick for 5 years with pipe dreams and lazy dick. And she, a grown working woman, was expected to put up with that because he's that percent of "good brothers" not in jail and with a fancy degree and "good" intentions. Intent doesn't pay the bills. Action does. He didn't wanna "stoop so low" just to get some kinda job because he got "dreams". His girl cheats (and to be clear.. she is trash for that) yet he sees that he had absolutely no part in this. You can't blame her for trying to escape with Daniel when for 5 long years you wasn't doing anything. Talking about "I took this job for you"! For you?? Boy. Bye. You outta want more for yourself! Now you a "homeless, worthless, hitting it form the back because I can't face reality, sleeping on your misogynoir trash ass homie's floor (Note: But Chad is a damn hoot!) on an air mattress, making your jump off pay for her own food"- ass nigga .. but we supposed to keep heralding you as a good dude? Why? Cause you is #hurtbae? Is that why women are Team Lawrence??? UGH! Miss me with that! My former pastor once said men want validation and women want security! And I'm not about to validate and encourage a man who can't even validate and encourage himself! I ain't ya mammy!
Thank GOD I am redeemed and no longer in my 20s/early 30s making mistakes like this.. trying to live off love and "potential" all because he seemed like a "good dude" and you up here ruining your credit over it. Ask me how I know! Hmpf!
I hope Issa doesn't get back with Lawrence. Ever. And y'all better not be out here trying to live these fictional ass lives .. trying to be Jay Z and his wife when you ain't got that much to lose. Is you a billionaire? No! You work at Equifax, sis! Move on! It's deeply pathological if a person can't see you struggling and expect you take take up the lion's share, and yours and then some! 


I heard women say all the time "Well.. he has potential". I told my baby cousin (who is a lovely, gorgeous girl just entering her 30s and trying to find love), "Potential isn't a Plan. Plans aren't made with Potential and Potential don't pay the bills.". She said I had preached a word and needed to put that on t-shirts. But I had lived that life. My first marriage was full of that kind of "potential", hoping and praying my ex would find his niche and get it together for his and OUR sake. But you can't make grown men work or have a dream.  But time and time again.. I hear older women use these same lines.

If you are over 30, you are too old to be that insecure about yourself. You are too old to be second guessing love. You are too old to be questioning your self worth or your mate's. Just move on. Cut your losses. And if you have to be alone for a while, that's ok too.  You are waiting on the myth of the "good black man". There are good black men but no one is perfect. Including women.

We have to not live in a fantasy world where men are flawed and women are forgiving. Nope. And I mist certainly do not want to see women old enough to know better doing this.

We aren't TV characters. 

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