Skip to main content

Randomness: Friday

What do you talk about when you're out of words? 

I committed to write once a week on this blog. And I have done so faithfully since recommitting myself. But what do I write about when words fail me?  

I want to travel. I want to take a nice, relaxing trip without the baby and just my husband..

I need to stop shopping. I realize now I shop to fill a void. And It's not like I am going anywhere. Or NEED the things right then and there. But I just often can't resist a sale. And that is reeking havoc on my credit score and debt to income ratio. I can't keep doing that. I seriously need a financial advisor. Straight up

Because of said spending. I said I wanted to recommit to myself to a minimalist lifestyle. I dont know how I can do that when SOMETIMES you gotta shop....

But I have to shop for my kid.. because she is growing at an exponential rate. Her shoes are now too small. She needs bigger tops. She needs less bodysuits so she can potty-train. I am just in awe at how fast she is growing. I wish time would slow down a bit. Next thing you know, we will be putting her in pre-k.

Yet... there are so many makeup things I want. My only caveat is just supporting Black Owned Makeup Brands (or BOMB for short...). It is a commitment I've made to my dollars. This also includes clothing as well. That will def free up some money.

I'm def in a quandry.....

My commitment to writing is really taking off. I've penned a few pages of a project. I keep writing on this blog. The only lack of writing I've done is for my actual dissertation. That's going to change in a week or so. I got a new laptop. Time to delve in...

I also need to download some writing apps.. register for a few conferences... perfect my elevator pitch.... these are things I am praying I can do before 2018.

I am counting down the days.. years.. until I cut my locs off. 40th birthday is the time. I've never had my natural hair really short. I grew it out from a relaxer and then got locs. I think Imma get a tapered cut... I am going to save my locs.. do a cleansing ceremony over them..... release the energy. I told one of my friends I'd give them to her. She thought I was joking but I was serious. I will prob save them though.

I am scared about how I will look though. I am already very self conscious about my hair. I am not the thinnest person and everyone I know that looks bomb with a tapered cut is very thin. I got a round face. I got thin edges. To be honest, I do not have the "beauty" it takes to pull off a lot of looks. I am not even sure how I am going to look. But.. I am ready for change. Hey.. if anything I can just rock wigs. And with the way wigs are looking these days.. no one would know the difference.

Investing in myself means investing in new gym shoes... and I am so dried up money wise Imma just have to have busted ankles in the meantime.

I should start back meditating....

The baby and I should do Mommy and Me Yoga... although she probably will just look at me and try and climb on my back.

I think a little mini trip is in order. Time to recharge before the semester gets crazy.


Popular posts from this blog

2018: A Year Without Fear

I used to make these lofty, resolution goals each year. The older I got, the grander my ideas became. That is until I reached the age of 30 and my entire life shifted.

At the time, I was divorced, living totally on my own, trying to rebuild myself financially and trying to figure out my next move toward happiness. That was at the time I started this blog.... which started out as my chronicling the dating and mating of a 30 something divorcee' in the South's Largest Metropolis. I was trying to date. I was trying to establish myself financially. And I was trying to find my purpose.

So much has changed in the almost 9 years since I started this blog. I've traveled alone. I gained and lost friends. I got into a Ph.D. program. I got re-married. I lost my mother, my best friend.... not to mention my uncle, cousin, and aunt. I gained a sweet baby girl.  I went from getting my bliss.... to trying to balance that bliss with my own life..... Yet in trying to find the balance, I alw…

Frat Boys, Toxic Masculinity and the #METOO Movement

(scene from Spike Lee's famous School Daze)

A few weeks ago, my sorority held its national convention on New Orleans. Coincidently, another fraternity was also holding their national convention in New Orleans. Naturally, the jokes, mostly in jest, played upon the fact that these two groups, full of single, attractive and smart folks would be "on the prowl" and looking to "hook up" in the city known for its strong drinks, Southern heat, and hospitality. It was all jokes until nastiness decided to rear its ugly head.

You had men in the other fraternity sexually harassing and being obscene to my sorority sisters who just wanted to have fun and handle the business of the sorority (and network.. and yes.. meet men in a somewhat safe space).  There were stories of men groping women. Men saying disgusting things and then being like "Well fuck you then" if women rejected them. You would HOPE and think that college-educated men wouldn't act this way.


The Ides of Birthdays

My 39th birthday is in two weeks.
You know, I feel like I write the same type of blog around my birthday every year. I get extremely introspective and pensive about the whole thing. But this is my last year of my 30s and I am feeling all of the feelings that have ever and could be felt. I hate trying to bring this up to folks.. who are always wanting to remind you of "well.. you got this.. you got that...". As if you haven't dealt with depression long enough to realize it doesn't matter what you have... if one piece is missing.. it throws it all off.
While yesterday was the 3rd anniversary of my mom's passing, I realized she wouldn't be here for my 40th. That was a hard pill to swallow. I thought for sure we'd be celebrating a lot that year... my Ph.D... a baby... a big, fancy car..... all of that. I only have one of those things so far but still... I was hoping that having her hold on at least until then would be the icing on my cake.
My life feels…