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Pans, Bands, and Sammies

So it was floating all around Facebook and social media today..the article from the NY Post about a young black woman, Stephani Smith, a page six reporter for the very own Post that publishes this foolywang article, who declares that she wil make 300 sammiches for her boyfriend to propose to her.

Let's file this under: are DTM (as my fiance' would say): DOING THE MOST... *side eye*

 I know women who have done FAR MORE..for FAR LESS...but MochaPeach is not the one.

Now..before I go into a feminist me...I won't be doing that.  My fiance' and I LOVE to cook together. Food is our way we communicate our love to each other.....but honey girlfriend..was doing a lot. I can count the number of sandwiches I've made Beau....and I got a ring.... *shrug* Hell...all that man wanted from me was potato skins......real talk. ANd I made them....

...and here we are.

But I digress. After I read the opening line of the article...talking about "You've been up 15 could have made me a sandwich"..I was SO DISGUSTED. Homegirl was/is going out her way to make some very creative and delicious sammishes..... I was like.."for real?? We making tuna rolls in cocktail dresses now??" Chile boo......

Let me summarize my feelings about this article.

1)  His whole approach irritated the shit outta me. The whole "you've been up 15 min..... make me a sammich" is so damn sexist. Maybe she should have left that out of the article. It wouldn't have made the fiance' anymore likable..but still...

2). But what if she makes all these sandwiches and then she gets to sandwich 299 and he's like "I'm good. I’m doing Paleo now”. PEACE. LOL. What is she going to do???  What if he's all like "Sandwiches are SO last year...I am into soups now. PEACE!" Is she going to make 300 bowls of soup??? I doubt it. 

3) She is delusional. Her man looks NOTHING like Skaarsgaard. If anything, he looks like old' dude from Wiki leaks. And I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder...but she must have a glass eye. 

4) unless she can miraculously make a sandwich that tastes like pussy....there is no magical "formula" to getting engaged. It's not a sandwich. It is not if you can even cook or not (because I know PLENTY 
of no cooking b*tches with rings)...and why be with someone who dangles an "engagement" like a carrot based on sandwiches....

5) She is making some GREAT sandwiches but is limited cause her man has these WIERD ASS food requirements/dislikes (like avocado that is SLICED. but he will eat it mashed...what kinda fu*ck shit!). I'd had to be stifling my creativity. Besides. If you have to make 300 can you get creative with limitations?

6) On the flip gotta do MORE than some sammiches...the man was cooking gourmet meals for you. Can you at least roast a chicken or something? Isn't he going to get tired of sandwiches??? The joke in the "hood" is "Pans will get those BANDS"  (as in wedding bands) and that might be true...but hey.... *shrug*...gotta be more than sandwiches.

7) She must want a book deal or a show or something. I mean...this is highly personal.... and she put it all out there....douchey BF and all.. (OK..dude could be a really nice man....but his approach was asshole-ish) I cant explain any other reason to  make something that's "our thing" private. My fiance' and I have some very private things we do, some that may raise an eyebrow, so I'll be damn if I share them.

I kind of feel bad for her. I am sure she thought this was a "cute little anecdote" and fun experiment (sorta like chick who did Julie/Julia) that might get her a little noteriety..a book deal...a cooking show. I has folks talking which is has the feminist wagging their tongues..and women wondering "Should I make that Bahn Mi sammich???" and "What is Bahn mi?" ..and dumb ass dudes saying "Hey women..go make me a sandwich!!" To say she is "124 sandwiches" away from an engagement ring sorta trivializes the entire "bethrothal" process...right down to a ham and cheese! smh Excuse me... a croque monsieur..... (or madame. I made that for my own fiance' for breakfast...that is just a ham/egg/cheese lol)

Cooking is a very personal thing. It should be done with love and care, even if it is just a sandwhich. While Ms. Smith declares that sandwiches are her man's "love language"...if you are doing all of this for a means to an end...then is it really done out of love and reciprocity? And cooking indeed can be seductive and sexy...but it shouldn't be "manipulative". I am surprised she didn't add a little "Suge Avery pee" to his lemonade or a tampon to his marinara sauce......

I would have enjoyed reading a blog about how TERRIBLE a cook she is...and how maybe her and her fiance' cook together, learning from and with each other, and bringing them closer together.  Perhaps she starts with sandwiches and expands to pot roasts..... I dunno.

Which brings me back to my own fiance'....and how we really feel like a team. It's a shared partnership. We cook together...for each other. Give and take......without any "pay off" sometimes. I dont expect one except Beau being happy and appreciative. I didn't get engaged because I could make a mean turkey pesto panini...or I made my highly-requested, drool worthy potato skins.

I think I got engaged because we "cooked" in other ways....we had heat inside the kitchen....and outside of it...

No formula or sandwiches required.

I guess what I am trying to say something out of love.....not out of obligation.

...and leave the sandwiches for "post-coital" refreshments only.


  1. Wow! I never heard about this article until now. I'm all for doing things for my man but, I don't believe that making sandwiches will convince a man to propose.


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