April 22, 2013

Dear Porsha: You're Gonna be OK.



I must confess. Real Housewives of Atlanta (RHOA) is my absolute guilty pleasure. I have been watching it faithfully since it premiered years ago. But this season really struck home with me.

And it all has a lot to do with Porsha Stewart (née Williams). A little ditsy but beautiful and likable, Porsha was married to ex football player turned sucking monkey balls sports commentator Kordell Stewart.
(Ugh..what a low, down dirty terd of a dude...smh)

She was a real housewife. Cooked dinners. Dressed like he enjoyed. Took care of him (and her step kid mind you....). She was traditional and ok with that. And wanted to defend and respect her husband to the best of her abilities. Yet when she wanted to step out on her own, have a semblance of a career, the husband and be an all-around person, he was like "pump ya breaks". And was outta here....
She was a drop dead gorgeous bride!

I found Porsha easy to relate to , albeit a tad on the ditsy side. But I think that's part of her charm, the naivety. But after last night's finale of the Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion, I truly gained a whole new respect for her as a person.

So with that said, I felt the need to post a letter to Porsha Williams-Stewart, quite honestly my new fav reality start.

***********
Dear Porsha:

First, I must start this letter by saying today, April 22, would have been my 7th wedding anniversary. When I got married, I was wide-eyed and a tad bit naive, just like you. I wanted it all: husband,. career and a family.. I wanted a partner who respected me, defended me and loved me and loved himself enough to want more for himself and his family. I only got part of that. But when my marriage fell apart, I was devastated and crushed.  I didn't realize it would be a blessing in disguise.


Girlfriend, I want you to see that too.


You are so sweet and just downright honest. You are like a cousin or homegirl we all know and love. Given that you truly ARE my homegirl (from the A and Dekalb Co just like me....) and around my same age, I felt this special connection with you on the show.I think we all did. We KNOW you, ya know?? And know a girl in our circle who is most def like you.  I did not totally agree with what kind of wife you wanted to be: totally submissive, dutiful, obedient,  and really taking the Bible literally.  That's not how I roll ever. BUT, that didn't stop me from really liking you. I realized that you just wanted to be the best wife possible and perhaps that mold fit you best. I couldn't knock you for it. Who knows, given the opportunity, perhaps I'd want to be that way too (if my husband had millions.....lol).

Nevertheless, whatever understanding two adults have is what they have. I wasn't here to knock it or judge it, and neither should the other ladies on the show. They were wrong because in many an instance, they too were just like you in relationships. I didn't think you were a doormat at all, just a girl in love., looking to an older husband for protection, guidance and stability. What's the harm in that? You defended a man whom, even in the midst, cared not to support you.  I, along with other women, could tell you wanted it to work. By any means necessary. That is love....regardless of what others tell you. I've been there. 

You didn't deserve to find out about your divorce on TWITTER of all places, and all while your husband sat quietly in the next room. That's some bullshit and totally out of pocket.. And I am not here for it..and neither is the rest of Female America, whether we agreed with your wifely style or not.  Cowards will never prosper!  And I know underneath the perceived vapidness  is a really charming and smart woman who will get what she wants. Whatever she wants. Realize this is a blessing. You are gorgeous and a woman like you will not stay single long. Girls like you do not. You'll find a man smarter, more handsome, richer (and not just monetarily, richer in spirit), and who wants you to have your own identity while appreciating a touch of the old fashioned. You're going to get it. Trust me, if you believe.

And even if I write this letter and you perhaps choose to go back w/ Kordell (which it doesn't appear that way cause homegirl, you said it last night he is cooking his own breakfast. LOL), I wouldn't judge either. 


(Wow..that ring!)
So sistagirl, I suggest you sell that massive rock, put a down payment on a new condo, beef up your "resume", find some new business ventures (go back to modeling, hosting a show, hell, negotiate for a spin-off....I'd watch it!),   do the "work" (or call Iyanla...lol), heal and be on your merry way. Take a trip! Reconnect with old friends who love you regardless. Because you are going to get ready for a bigger and better blessing. Believe that...... Sister, I've walked in your stilettos and I got the bunions to prove it. But that walk was worth it. I went through hell...countless dates to nowhere...only to end up with a guy who loves me for who I am not what I can do for him, a career I am fairly content with, family who loves me and goals I am working toward. You're gonna get it! 

So stay strong. And most of all stay you! Because someone will love the you that you love....no conditions.


Remember this while your heart is breaking: The most beautiful mosaics are made with broken pieces. Your broken pieces are about to turn into something beautiful

Signed,

The Proud Owner of a Priceless Masterpiece of a Life



ETA: Here are a few videos of a very resilient Porsha! We are all rooting for you :)

Her GMA Interview

On Watch what Happens Live w/ Andy (PS: Vivica is giving me "sympathetic older auntie" realness)

2 comments:

  1. Yes!!!! I loved this! I was nodding so hard throughout the entire thing as I read it. Everything you say is so true! I know she'll emerge from this stronger, and will only find her "real" Mr. Right.

    ReplyDelete
  2. She found out on Twitter?!?!? Yeah her destiny will find her in a much better place.

    ReplyDelete

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