#YearThirtyFine: The Day I Stopped Giving a F****

Turning 39 aka Thirty Fine has been an experience.

My body has more aches and pains...I think I also found a gray hair...

I've had to make more doctor's appointments than I'd like...

I am out of breath when I chase my kid.. which reminds me to work out more and eat better.

I have to keep laxative on deck because I'm getting old...

But...

I also decided that my 39th birthday would be the day that I I would not give a f*** during my last year of my 30s.

I do not care what you think about my body. Imma wear a sheer shirt and show all my midriff.

I don't care what you think about how I parent. I am going to parent how I want and Baby Girl will be better for it.

I do not care that I am broke or have money for all the things I want

I do not care that I don't have a fly whip.

I do not care that my skin and hair isn't perfect all the time

I don't care if I wear makeup today.. and none tomorrow.

I am going to eat what I fucking want and worry about the pounds later.

I will have that extra Mimosa.

I will not give more of myself than I can.

I will not commit to things that do not give me joy.

I will do whatever the fuck I feel like.

I will not limit myself to what I can or cannot financially do.

I will shit or get off the pot when it comes to my dreams.

I won't care about the latest fashions as long as I am clothed and housed.

I will cherish the friends I have and not worry about those ones that I call a friend who do not call on me.

I will not put a label on myself. I am many things at once.

I will not do anything other than being Black and a Woman.... and patriarchy can kick rocks.

I will show my daughter that being black and a woman isn't always some downtrodden experience.

I will be sexy and brave in my exploration of my sexuality, yes, even within the confines of a marriage. Monogamy should and can allow for that.

I will stop comparing myself to a very unrealistic notion of what an over 40  body should be like.

I will not take life too seriously.

I will find my passion and take it by the balls.

Most of all...

I will always stop giving a fuck.