Turning 39 aka Thirty Fine has been an experience.
My body has more aches and pains...I think I also found a gray hair...
I've had to make more doctor's appointments than I'd like...
I am out of breath when I chase my kid.. which reminds me to work out more and eat better.
I have to keep laxative on deck because I'm getting old...
I also decided that my 39th birthday would be the day that I I would not give a f*** during my last year of my 30s.
I do not care what you think about my body. Imma wear a sheer shirt and show all my midriff.
I don't care what you think about how I parent. I am going to parent how I want and Baby Girl will be better for it.
I do not care that I am broke or have money for all the things I want
I do not care that I don't have a fly whip.
I do not care that my skin and hair isn't perfect all the time
I don't care if I wear makeup today.. and none tomorrow.
I am going to eat what I fucking want and worry about the pounds later.
I will have that extra Mimosa.
I will not give more of myself than I can.
I will not commit to things that do not give me joy.
I will do whatever the fuck I feel like.
I will not limit myself to what I can or cannot financially do.
I will shit or get off the pot when it comes to my dreams.
I won't care about the latest fashions as long as I am clothed and housed.
I will cherish the friends I have and not worry about those ones that I call a friend who do not call on me.
I will not put a label on myself. I am many things at once.
I will not do anything other than being Black and a Woman.... and patriarchy can kick rocks.
I will show my daughter that being black and a woman isn't always some downtrodden experience.
I will be sexy and brave in my exploration of my sexuality, yes, even within the confines of a marriage. Monogamy should and can allow for that.
I will stop comparing myself to a very unrealistic notion of what an over 40 body should be like.
I will not take life too seriously.
I will find my passion and take it by the balls.
Most of all...
I will always stop giving a fuck.