Skip to main content

The Balance: Sex, Sleep, or Spaghetti-Os

**Note: For the duration of the summer (June to August) I have dedicated myself to my writing: personal, professional and academic. Therefore, I will be blogging once a week on Sex and the Southern Belle (personal) Enjoy my  new adventures**

*************************


Sometimes, I legitimately forget to sleep. I forget to eat. I forget to kiss my husband and my baby. I forgot about myself.

Over the past few months, the word of the moment has been "balance". How can I balance all these hats on my head? All these irons in the fire? Wife. Mom. Student. Lover. Friend. Employee. So many things. Only 24 hours in the day.

The days are passing...The days when I have Spaghetti-O's all over my clothes.. and all over the baby. The days where my eyebrows go un-waxed and my skin looks dull.  The days where I can catch my newly-walking daughter in my arms and hear her laughing.. the days where my husband spins me around in the kitchen and smacks my non-existent butt.

The nights are shorter. There inst enough time to read bedtime stores. There isn't enough time for spontaneous sex where we try not to wake the baby (who finally went to sleep). Not enough nights to binge watch our favorite shows. with endless bowls of popcorn.... or date nights where we get dressed to the nines. We've had a few.. but far in between.

It's a choice. A struggle. All of these irons in the fire and not knowing what to focus on everyday. Sometimes it sinks you in a hole, that only a good therapist and prayer can get you out of. Sometimes when you feel like all the plates are spinning, one crashes, leaving you without recourse. Where do you turn? Where do you go?


Right now, I am watching my husband sleep. I always fall asleep last in this house.His chest rising and falling effortlessly under the hum of the humidifier and air conditioner. I hear my daughter rustle with the blanket her aunt made and whine a bit...... I go over to comfort her with  firm hand on her back. And she stops. She's at peace and everything is alright.

I often wonder where is that "firm hand" for me. Where is the steady comfort of knowing everything is ok? I guess as a modern woman, the uncertainty is the new normal. I am not seeking perfection.. just balance.

So this summer, I am dedicating myself to just that. Finding the balance. Making time for myself. Making time for the pursuits that make me happy. There is no rush on any of it.

But it is about balance.. and finding joy in the balance....

I think I am definitely getting there.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Dating and the Dark-Skinned Girl

Often times in the circle of close bloggers, who become friends, we get into debates (albeit friendly ones) but debates nonetheless. I happened to be on my "private" blog site reading a dear friend's blog. I love her to death and she's been like a big sister to me, helping me through my divorce as a shoulder to cry on and listening ear. And although I've never met her in person...I do consider her a friend (that may sound strange to most..but it isnt to bloggers!) She's a gorgeous Black and Mexican woman..living in southern Cal and raising her teenage son amazingly! I was reading her blog...and came across this:

Ok..just a random thought... What is with the expression "LSLH?" Because it's usually used in a negative way, I'm offended by it.It irks me to no end! I mean, does it make us less of a black women because we have lighter skin and long hair? So when I read blogs or websites that use that expression, I think it's sad. So what if I&…

The "Fleece Johnson" Guide to Dating

I am not sure if any of you saw the recent Boondocks where they spoofed prison culture and gayness. Well....if you haven't...here is a little clip of where they got their inspiration from. Fleece Johnson...the Booty Warrior... So yeah...Fleece is a little crazy..but we are about to roll with thiis for a minute. I am about to take the "Fleece Johnson" no holds barred approach to dating. If I see a dude it's going down  like this: I likes ya I wants ya We can do this the easy way Or the hard way....your choice. Now..Fleece might be talking about gay men and booty warrior and "hornin". But..I'm talking about taking the same approach to men. If I see a dude I want..I WANT HIM. Imma have him. We can play games and bullshit and do it the hard way...OR we can do it the easy way...you give in to me and my desires (and yours)..and be happy. Which would you rather have? Would you rather have to do dumb sh*t to work for a good woman? Or take an easy approach with the sam…

The Art of the Dirty Talk

I am the queen of talking dirty after dark. I mean I am GOOD at it. VERY good. So much so I dated a guy and for months..all he wanted me to do was speak nasty to him. We never has sex. Nothing. Just a bunch of dirty talk....and he was happy. (Hey..a very safe sex fetish!) Heck..I'm even considering picking up some extra income in this economy and becoming a phone sex operator...my job does NOT pay enough.

I will say there is an ART to dirty talk. You cant be shy. You cant be a prude and say things 1) you are not comfortable saying and 2) that you certainly can't back up if you are in a position to act on those things with a trust partner. 3 ) things you have no real reference point of familiarity with. Don;t say you are down for a "golden shower" if you think that has something to do with "lemonade kool-aid". DOn't pretend to have a weird accent. That would be ROLE playing..and not "talking dirty". BUT a lot of "talking dirty" is role…