I feel like I am overdosing on blessings.
I'm debating even keeping this blog. I mean...I just do not have the time. Besides...I started the blog to talk about my dating trials and tribulations, which morphed into sex-positive contributions...but...I just don't think my life is about that anymore. I am sure it ministered and was a blessing to some...but right now??? What is it doing for ME is the bigger question? How can it still minister to me and make ME happy?
My life has done a complete 180 in the past few months. I mean..I am attempting to study for comps. Which isn't going that great to be honest..and I take the exam (supposedly) in October. I am debating pushing it to Spring when it is given next time. I don't have time. They say you never read everything on your exam list. But damn...can I get halfway there???
I work and am getting more duties and responsibilities which makes me just overworked...but joyful about what seems to be progressive change that will be reflected in my purse strings (LOL).
My living space has been invaded by my lovable, well-meaning, teddy bear 6'4" of a fiance'....shoes all over the place suits and clothes....facial hair in the sink.....waiting for the toilet....which is forcing us to house hunt. Which has been draining and tiresome....we seem like we are in two places on that front. Some tense moments there........
I have no real time for myself..being stressed out and not eating healthy like I used to or working out like I should has taken a toll....and I am paying for it........all kinds of ways..I just come home and crash. I haven't had REAL vacation in a year.......and time spent taking off is usually meant to just sleep..or clean........... Shoot..I barely keep my hair done.
And of course...there is wedding planning. I know I slipped that e-ring on this page like it was BOOM...the end...but..I truly didn't want to make a big ol fuss about it. Or talk about how he proposed (because that's a story for family and friends..like..real actual friends...........lol). I don't want to inundate this page with wedding plans and dresses and bows and ribbons and mushy-ness and such...because that is not what this blog is about. Besides..that's some boring sh*t. LOL. And you would get sick of it? I mean...it's like when Carrie married Big ....what was left to enjoy about the thrill of that relationship? Marriage is boring to most..and I just don't want my marriage out for ridicule. Esp given that this is my second marriage...
So what IS this blog about now??? Someone tell me.......... Given that the place where I used to privately blog, Xanga,is about to shut down, where do I post all that real JUICY stuff? Most certainly NOT here...I can tell you that much.
Part of me is trying to have a modicum of anonymity again. So...I've limited doing the videos and reviews and such........
Again..........what will this blog be about? What is going to be the 2nd chapter of my life post-divorce...as I enter into a brand new relationship and eventual marriage? Do I talk kids and babies? Do I change this into a "mommy blogger" joint? Jeesh...what is there left to even talk about?
I'm spread thin. I feel cramped and crowded and trapped..but all for GOOD reasons. It's all happening at what seems like warp speed..but not really..........
So what do I want to talk about? Love? Life? Marriage? Mommy-hood? Friends? School?
Or maybe nothing at all??
What does a person who has bared their soul have to share anymore???
To Be Continued..........(maybe)