February 27, 2011

Ask The MochaPeach: My Heart, His Heart, and His "Cooties"

In this installment of Ask TheMochaPeach, a reader asks a difficult and delicate subject. What would YOU do if faced with this situation?

Dear TheMochaPeach,

First off, I love your blog girl. I've been a fan for a REALLY long time...so now I have the courage to actually write you. I have a serious matter over here. I've been dating a guy for a minute now. We get along great. He's sweet, kind and has manners. He is sexy as all hell. Let me stress that he's VERY fine. No..FIONE. We've been taking it kinda slow so we haven't rushed into sex...but we've made out a lot. Heavy petting, kissing, fondling..but no sex. Well...last week..we went to romantic dinner and he said he had something "serious" to talk to me about. I was like.."Oh boy..he wants to break up or something.". He started off by saying he cares about me...he wants to be totally honest with me..and doesn't want to lose me. He's never hid anything from me (which is true) and he doesn't want to start.  Then he drops the bombshell on me...."Well..I have Herpes so before we take it to the next level..I wanted to tell you"  I sat there stunned. I mean...I never dated a guy with any kind of STD and this is freaking me out. He tried to assure me that his case was mild (whatever that means).  Well..ever since he told me, Ive been sorta backing away from him. I resist his touch and kisses. I wont call him back.  HE keeps asking me "whats wrong"...and I wont tell him cause that sh*t is freaking me out and I just need time to process if I wanna stay or go. He's such a good guy to me. And I appreciate the honesty but I dunno. I've always practiced safe sex so this is a shocker.  What do I do? What would YOU do?

Signed,

My Heart OR His Cooties.

*****

Dear "My Heart or His Cooties":

First of all, can I just say thanks for the letter! IT was SO BRAVE of you to write this. Secondly, Let me give a hand clap of praise to the BROTHER in this situation. *standing ovation*  OMG...that took GUTS for him to be honest and forthright about his condition with you. Think about it..how many guys would just let you catch some shit and NOT tell you they had anything. How many men take the CHOICES away from you?  Not disclosing diseases? Not disclosing marital statuses? Not disclosing if they have children?? LOTS...so this man is rare indeed. With that said, let's dig right into the issue.

First, let's talk a little about Herpes *putting on my nerdy L-Boogie glasses and pulling up the CDC site* . You seem like you are a woman of good health, practice safe sex and all and haven't been exposed to anything like that....OR HAVE YOU??? Truth is, most people with something like herpes have no symptoms sometimes. One in five Americans have genital herpes (yet at least 80 percent of those with herpes are unaware they have it). Furthermore, you can get genital herpes even if your partner shows no signs of the infection.  And if you've had a cold sore, my dear, then you have had herpes.  (And the oral herpes cold-sore is often the reason for transmission of it to the genital area because about 80 percent of American adults have oral herpes (cold sores).). If you have had CHICKEN POX, then you have been exposed to a form of herpes. And sadly, Genital herpes infection also is more common among African Americans (45.9%) than among White Caucasian (17.6%).  So we get the sh*tty end of the statistics when it comes to STI/STD infection rates.   But there is HOPE! Just like a cold sore, genital herpes is quite manageable. With drugs such as Valtrex, Zovirex (a topical cream) and Acyviclor, this is VERY managble. Taken daily (if herpes is that bad),  transmission rates are damn near lowered to nothing (not totally) and you can resume a NORMAL sex life which includes anal, oral, and vaginal sex. Touching is fine and learning to KNOW the symptoms of an outbreak and avoiding sex is key (and I am sure your partner wouldn't put you at risk for anything like that..given his honesty).  Furthermore, there seems to be some research about a new vaccine being developed. Herpes is centuries old...so this is progressive news.

Now, I know you didn't want to hear all of these statistics, but you needed to know, sista! TRUST ME..it coulda been worse. He coulda said he had HIV or another disease that wasn't curable but DEADLY. Herpes isn't going to kill you. Now, if I had to spin the wheel of STD roulette, I'd be hoping I'd land on herpes or something I can get a shot for and not the awful death of HIV. A little discomfort every few months..(or even once a year) isn't as bad as suffering lifelong, not being able to give blood, etc. Trust me... And the fact that the man has waited, not rushed into sex also says a lot. He coulda got your love candy and BOUNCED..and the first time you turned up itching and burning you woulda called him all kinds of dirty, filthy liars. Which situation would you rather have? Knowing the risks upfront? Or being duped at the end?

I know this is a whole lot for you to process. Only you can say if you can deal with this. But the man seems to be a good guy. He's being upfront. He apparently cares about you. He hasn't rushed into sex...THEN you said he's fine? Chile please! *OchoCinco voice*.  You have to look at the bigger picture. I know it seems scary but just pray about it. See if it's something you can deal with. But in the meantime, tell the man: "Look..this is a lot for me to process. Can I have sometime to think about it?" And if he's as good as you say he is, he'll give you time to think about it, continue to not rush into sex, and be patient. BUT..don't leave the man in limbo. Say a firm YES or NO as to whether you can deal with this or not. And def don't spurn his affection such as a kiss or hug. You cant catch it from a hug (lol). And he probably needs that hug badly. He's shared a lot with you right now. He was open, honest and put it all on the line...

And in the end, honesty IS always the best policy, isn't it?


Stay strong, sista! And Happy Lovemaking! :)

February 24, 2011

NSFW Weekly P0rn Review: A Sexy Musical Interlude



Ok so..it's not really porn per se...LOL..but...This song has been my FAVORITE for a MINUTE now...then to produce such a sexy video with BROWN people (and a natural girl too......a natural girl with the BADUNK of the ancestors)

*Lights a cigarette....*

:)

February 18, 2011

Feeling/Not Feeling

Feeling
  • All Things Wonder Woman
  • Getting back into the running swing of things
  • I'm almost at my hair goal of "WLH" (waist-length hair). That's amazing..almost 8 years of growing locs...
  • How AMAZING Jennifer Hudson looked and how fly she was at ANY size.....and she was confident with it.
  • Just living my life without any regrets
  • Obtaining some goals I've been putting off for years
  • Living a life with no fear
  • Kiehl's Mango Lipbalm
  • Wii FIT
  • My mother's getting stronger everyday..I see it.
  • Making new friends..you are never too old to make a new friend.
  • I want to get have a relationship..but right now..I kinda LIKE being alone for a while. I'm at peace. I can eat Nutella alone (LOL).
  • A new cell phone...ASAP
  • How nice my place is being decorated.....
  • Still believing that marriage is for sure worth it.
  • Being selfish...and right now thats a GOOD thing.




Not Feeling
  • People not recognizing the difference between "THICK" and "FAT". I'm thick. Not Obese. Gabby Sidibe is FAT/OBESE, not thick. I dunno WHY some people think if you fall in the THICK category you are fat. WRONG.
  • People not understanding that relationships evolve...respect it.
  • now that my hair IS longer...I'm so bored with it...*sigh*. Maybe a new color for spring/summer will cheer me up.
  • Weirdos (that's all encompassing)
  • Wanting to be a mother..but feeling like that opportunity won't happen  until I am damn near 40.
  • Not having the time to cook
  • Weight Watchers point system confuses me..but I'm just slow I guess
  • How Janet Jackson's tickets were sold out in a matter of minutes!! :(
  • Dating: I just can't do it anymore. I can't.
  • Making people a priority....when they make you an option
  • One word conversations. Just dont even bother talking to me.....
  • Feeling alone but not lonely...big difference.
  • if one more joker with 50-Leven hundert chullins approaches me..Imma throw myself off the state campital building.
  • not knowing HOW to cook for one. I've tried but I just cant so....I end up freezing everything (LOL).

February 16, 2011

February 13, 2011

Wonder Woman, Super Woman and Me

Wonder Woman is no Superwoman (And neither am I)

As a kid, I had an unnatural obsession with Wonder Woman. I would watch the re-runs of the Linda Carter TV show. My mother bought me all kinds of Wonder Woman stuff (including a lunch box that probably is a collector’s item…but I think she tossed it). But my most prized possession…a pair of costume worthy Underoos. Remember Underoos????
 (I also had an R2D2/Star Wars one as well....LOL. I am/was a geek for sure....)

I loved those things. I would sleep in them. Wear them to school. Run around in them just in the summer time.. The turning point in my Wonder Woman obsession was when I was about 5 or 6, and on Halloween, on a bitterly cold October day, I wanted to wear my Underoos with my red cowboy boots my Pop-Pop gave me. I got dressed (complete with my mother’s gold bangles and a belt for the Lasso of Truth) ran around the house, opened the front door to go Trick-or-Treating and declared “I’m WONDER WOMAN!”. My mother froze in horror and said “Girl…if you don’t put on some damn clothes!! It is freezing outside! NO WAY!”  It was then I realized being Wonder Woman didn’t shield me from being human. I wasn’t superwoman but Wonder Woman was real to me.

Wonder Woman aka “Diana Prince” was an Amazon warrior, cloaked in Greek Mythology who didn’t have that many super powers but she was cunning, smart, a fighter and combated evil with the power of love and truth. She had a fly costume and an invisible plane. Not to mention, she was a super gorgeous brunette who could hang toe-to-toe with the Justice League in a pretty skimpy outfit (although in 2010.she got a makeover that included skin tight leggings). So bad was Wonder Woman, Gloria Steinem had her on the first cover of Ms. Magazine, the feminist magazine of the 1970s.


But…Wonder Woman wasn’t “superwoman”. She wasn’t totally invincible. She could only dodge bullets with her bracelets.  She had a limited range of items she could use. Furthermore, I just don’t recall Diana Prince aka Wonder Woman having a steady man. Maybe she didn’t need a guy. Maybe she couldn’t find a dude comfortable w/ a bad chick with an invisible plane and lassos and who stood over 6 feet tall.

It’s no wonder that I’ve been so drawn to Wonder Woman. She’s a flawed yet brilliant and gorgeous girl….a lot like me. She’s human…not overly super human. She’s a Goddess but not otherworldly.  Wonder Woman isn’t going to be “Super Woman”. She isn’t trying to break her back or bend her morals for anyone. She’s hard working and definitely not taking any shit from anyone.  She’s not trying to save the world…just save what matters to her. She doesn’t need brute force to get her point across, just brilliant tactical skills (although she will kick your ass if necessary). She’s beautiful but not fragile.

I’m def more Wonder Woman than “super woman” and not apologetic about it.  Fearless…just like Wonder Woman.

It’s never too old for me to pull out those Underoos and fight bullsh8t. Maybe that little 5-year-old girl was on to something….She had no fear. I need to go back to that....

They do make Underoos for adults ya know... :)



PS: For all my MAC cosmetics make-up addicts, MAC has a GORGEOUS new collection of Wonder Woman for MAC  Collection (in conjunction w/ DC Comics) Look at all the  GORGEOUS colors inspired by Diana Prince aka Wonder Woman!: www.maccosmetics.com


February 11, 2011

Seduction: The V-day Haikus

You send me flowers
The petals fresh with dew
Open my flower


Your Lips Wrapped Around
A Strawberry So Sweetly
I am the whipped cream


I buy lingerie
To turn you on for tonight
It's on.....5 minutes

Here...you sit across
From me at the table...Here
Aphrodisiac

Kem plays so softly
It is mostly background noise
To our sounds...wet waves.

No gift can compare
To the gift that is your love
Man...I'm so lucky

Your brown skin glistens.
Your tattoos....drenched with our sweat
Tongue traces their path.

My legs are perfect
Compliments to strong shoulders
Stilettos dig deep

Morning mimosas
Quench only the thirst we had
Desire still burns.

February 10, 2011

TheMochaPeach Is....: A Video Blog



**Editor's Notes: Now I am sure some of you are like.."But wait, Mocha..haven't you been married before??" Yeah So what? I didnt produce any kids from it.  I'm single again. I'm speaking like the SINGLE, childess person I am. Therefore, I want to create a whole family unite: mother, father and child. Husband, Wife and child. Parents and children. *shrug* Had I had some kids..this wouldn't be my conversation. I might even seek a partner WITH kids IF I had kids. This is my truth. I stand firm in it. Yeah I'm complicated...so.If you don't like it..bite me (LOL).

February 9, 2011

To Be Black, Fierce and Lesbian: Coming Out, Dating, Sex and All Things In-Between

(PS: this is NOT the GuestBlogger..LOL)
Hey Ya'll!

This week's blog post comes from one of my dear friends, Peachy Keen, over at Sweet Peachy Keen. I've known her since I was flat chested, wore thick glasses. We literally have grown up together and I always thought of her as one of my best and most fondest childhood friends. So trust me when I tell you it was a surprise when I found out after some years later, that she was a lesbian. I was happy she was walking in her truth and loved her for it! (Cause TheMochaPeach is like Gaga...a friend of the gays and a serious fag hag! LMAO!)   I asked her to do a guest blog for me about her coming out story...and after months of procrastination in true Peach style..she finally finished. I hope to give a new perspective on what it's like being black, lesbian and in HotLanta. Enjoy!!!

******
When The Mocha Peach asked me to guest blog, I was ecstatic!  But soon, in true procrastinator form, I developed some excuse to well… procrastinate.  This time, it was the dilemma of length (the excuses don’t have to be good, folks.)  I knew she wanted the skinny on the whole gay thing.  I didn’t know whether she wanted the short or long version. 
So this is my story… late and medium sized.
The question everyone asks first is, “When did you become gay?”  And to that I say, “the same time you became straight.”  Really, though, I knew there was something different about me and my desires when I was about six years old.  All of my attractions were to women… some (much) older, some my age, but never of the male species.  In first grade, I asked a close buddy to see his winky on the school bus.  He “whipped” it out and I yelled, “EWWW!”... then ran off the bus to immediately tell my mom that creep had exposed himself to me.  We weren’t so buddy-buddy after that.  I didn’t want any parts of anyone possessing one of those disgusting looking things.  Meanwhile, I passed off most of my crushes as “mentors”, women I simply looked up to, or friends.  In fact, I had crushes on almost all of my close friends (yes, including The Mocha Peach) but at that age, it was pretty normal to sort of pine away for your little buddies in some fashion.  Everyone had that misty look in their eyes for one reason or another.  So I was never found out.  And honestly, it wasn’t even that clear to me. 
I had a high school sweetheart.  He now has a beautiful new wife and baby.  I still declare that he’s the only man I’ve ever been in love with.  And I still think it’s because he’s a fellow Gemini.  We have a propensity to be more… open.  It was his soul and his personality that I was in love with.  And the reason he can still make me laugh to this day.   
Fast forward to my college years... I was waitressing when a loyal, repeat customer sat at the bar.  She was close to some of my co-workers and came in often.  Her best friend, a co-worker, came to tell me that she’d wanted my number but he’d told her I was straight.  I thought for a second and replied, “Give it to her.”  She was (is) stunning.  A Haitian beauty.  Brown skin, locs, eyes like you’ve never seen.  Piercings, tattoos, and a look that said she didn’t give two shits what anyone thought of her.  She was my first.  And being with her made me a light come on.  Suddenly, EVERYTHING made sense… why I’d never felt emotionally connected to a man, why I ALWAYS faked it (always)and why I got butterflies when I’d see a strong, sexy stud (more on that later).  I realized the only reason I hadn’t acted on my feelings before was because I’d simply never considered it as an option.  Now I know that’s because it’s not a “lifestyle,” it’s just who you are. 
And now… well, my dating life sucks just like any other single woman.  In the words of Yo Gotti, “Women lie, men lie, money don’t lie.”  But seriously, most people, gay, straight, white, black or other lie about shit for no reason.  If it’s happened to you, my straight sista, it’s happened to us dykes (which, by the way, is like “nigga” to us… we can say it, you can’t).  I’m an attractive, feminine woman with my head on straight.  I have a child not because I had a momentary bout of straightness, but because I wanted one.  I don’t have many social interactions with straight people.  In general, straight women seem clueless, eternally “curious” and just want to ask a zillion questions about lesbian sex and straight men think that they are just the nigga to change your mind and your “preference.”  I’m pretty sure if some gay man approached that same nigga to change his mind about being straight, he’d stab him.  But I digress.  And all of them, (“straighters” as my bff and I call the heteros) male and female alike, want to know about the stud thing.
So, in absolutely NO attempt to speak for all lesbians, I will explain what a stud is to me and why I find them absolutely irresistible.  First of all, besides a small number of people with legitimate gender identity issues, or those who don’t observe or relate to any gender at all, studs are not “trying to be men.”  Please believe when a stud (a typically southern term… a.k.a. dom/aggressive/etc.) takes off her masculine outerwear, there is a beautiful woman standing there.  NOT a hairy, sweaty, ball-having, nasty-footed man.  No matter what is done in the bed, it is still being done between two women.  Every conversation you have is with a woman.  Some of us more old-fashioned lesbians have a tendency to play into the hetero-normative roles but those roles are still being played between two women.  For example, I like for my stud to be in charge, to take out the trash and pump my gas.  And I’m usually the one cooking and cleaning.  But this is in no way done as an attempt to mirror a man and woman.  If women are who you’re attracted to, there is no substitute.  That old Beyonce song, “That’s How You Like It?” has always reminded me of how I feel about studs.  Can you imagine how strong and confident a woman has to be to face the world just as she feels comfortable without caving to the incessant stares she receives all day long?  Very strong and very confident!  I appreciate a beautiful person in any gender, clothing or situation.  But a “stud” will be in my bed as long as I have anything to do with it.
And consequentially, at the close of this (I procrastinated even further upon beginning and had many starts and pauses)… I am involved with woman who makes my coochie jump at the mere thought of her.  After a year of celibacy with a one-time drunken anomaly in the fall, I am getting more than I can stand.  She eats my pussy until I pass out.  She straps me like she was born with the dick.  She touches me soooo soft.  And that voice!  That “swag”!  Yeeeeeees, ma’am!!!  I ain’t recruiting, y’all.  Hell, we got a shortage of good ones as well!  But, I’m just sayin’… don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it… at least once or twice.  Either way, it’s all love.
Stay sweet and peachy, y’all.  I know I will!



***You can visit Peachy over at Her Blog: sweetpeachykeen.com.

February 3, 2011

Chrisette is my Hero!

"You can play the fool...I can be my hero"......This song epitomizes everything I'm feeling. Diva-neck-popping attitude and all...... Enjoy :)


February 2, 2011

Broken: A Poem




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There is an angel on my mantel
My mother gave to me.
A trinket she found
In a gift card shop
One summer day.
Dressed in yellow with a halo
Sweet, chocolate face
Hair in a bun
And hands in an embrace…
Sitting “Indian style” on a bed of daisies
It reminded her of me
Perfect
Until I broke her
It was an accident.
Except for the crack in her wing
She’s perfect.
But Broken.
I tried to hide it.
Move it under some things to distract it.
I tried to ignore it.
But it just glared at me
Obviously wounded.
I tried to fix her.
Using any cheap glue to mend her.
But it didn’t last.
And just like this little ceramic angel
With her broken wing.
I tried to mend the pieces of my heart
With any old glue of a guy I could find.
He didn’t work.
He wouldn’t stay.
He was just made of the wrong stuff.
I should have known that cheap substitutions just won't do.
I tried to hide my heart
With a smile and fancy things.
I tried to ignore the pain
The throbbing deep within that aches to my core.
My wing won’t mend.
I can’t fly
Due to the accident of loving too hard for far too long and to the wrong people.
I sit still, with hands folded.
Just like that angel
Bound in a prayer.
Hopeless and waiting
She’s broken
Just like me.

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