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Desperately Seeking Arrangement

Since my blog was getting rather dry, I decided to ask my friends for some help on some topics to spice up the blog. I like to bounce ideas off of them...see what perspectives they have.

My friend Maria, whom I've mentioned before w/ her dating advice on Interracial dating, sent me an e-mail:

OMG!  do you remember when I was going hard looking for a Sugar Daddy???

 I should have gone to this event I got invited to, but I just saw the email this morning. SHOOT! i could have sent you play-by-play...

If it ever comes up again, I'll spruce myself up and go. (And a guy I was messing with took me to Merchants before... it's HIGH class. i would have needed massive notice to get all done up - eyelashes, eyebrows, done my hair, mani/pedi, cocktail dress... *sigh*)

I looked at the site she sent me for a "Seeking Arrangement" Party. The description read:

The Seeking Arrangement Party

Sugar Daddy: $80 at the door

Sugar Baby: $25 at the door

Event starts at 6:00PM, but will continue until around 11:30pm or later.

The Seeking Arrangement Parry puts the sugar at your fingertips, with everything you'll need to appreciate gorgeous girls or established gentlemen celebrating mutually beneficial relationships.

*Complimentary sugar baby champagne meet & greet at 6:00 PM

*Complimentary full-size gourmet hors d'Oeuveres

*Full premium cash bar - all top shelf liquors

*Restaurant with full dinner menu

*Cigar bar with cigar maker

*Live music and entertainment
**2 Gorgeous private rooms capabable of holding 12 people each and bottle service that includes your own sugar baby hostess available! Call Melissa at 516-864-1714 for pricing.**

One of NYC's few licensed "Cigar Bars", Merchants NY is the creator and leader in "Living Room" dining and drinking. Featuring two working fireplaces, one in its opulently styled living room and the other in the exquisite Brandy Bar and Cigar Lounge. Enjoy top shelf cigars and spirits, as well as an eclectic Cigar Bar dining menu.

Other than the Cigar Bar, the restaurant is smoke-free and offers a seasonally updated menu with a large selection of starters, soups, salads and entrees from its Contemporary American menu that will please the most discriminating palate. Special dietary requests are welcome and accommodated, including low-calorie and vegetarian dishes.

Striking décor, good food, excellent service and a wide selection of wines and spirits make Merchants NY the ideal venue for any sugar.
I literally sat there with my mouth wide open. You mean to tell me that there is a "party" and event to find a sugar daddy? And I many black women (aside from Maria) were actually considering going to this? Then, I received my Essence magazine for this month and saw an article on the SAME THING and that the creator of the site said that membership of African-Americans had increased by 300% in the last year. SOme women sleep with the men, others dont. And 10 times out of 9...the men may be married.

WOW I couldn't believe it. I actually joke all the time and say.."Oh I need me a sugar Daddy to help pay these damn bills"... But I am not sure if I am totally serious. Curious..I decided to go on the Seeking Arrangement site and poke around a bit.
I joined the site..and I had to fill out a profile Hmm..not sure if I was "average" or a "few extra pounds?" THen they asked me the following:
"What type of financial arrangement did you expect"
The catergories ranged anywhere from under $1000 to up to over $10K a month. Wow....(So I hit middle of the road and said $5-10K..ya know..not to sound too greedy! LMAO!)
Then I had to write a description. So since this was total fantasy,
I wrote the following:
I love the finer things in life. Eating out. Fine art exhibits. Wine tastings, opera, concerts, and a sense of class and sophistication that is hard to find in this city especially. I want to be escorted to exclusive events and you won't mind having a voluptuous ethnic beauty on your arm.As I pursue higher education, I would like for my sugar daddy to be aware of those needs. Being divorced, it is hard to trust someone completely. With that being said, you need to literally earn my trust. I will not be pressured for sex as I MUST find you sexually attractive. You must be attractive: George Clooney, Denzel with the finances to match. I want to be taken and shown the finer things in life and I will be a proper piece of armcandy on your arm in exchange. profile isn't going to get any hits for a number of reasons:
For one, mostly the men want asian and white women and the women who gave testimonials were just that. I didn't see many older black men. Most of the men were weird white and foriegn dudes who may not be interested in black women at all. AND all of the profiles that looked half-way normal, the man was married. He was genuinely interested in a mistress. A nice, young white one. would some goldigging sista even have a chance? (lol) THen I started to freak out. I mean, if I really was interested in meeting this dude, what makes you think he isn't some serial killer that would chop my black ass up in a deep freezer and eat my boobs for dinner?
Ahh,,curiosity surely killed this cat. I don't think I could WILLINGLY swindle some man out of hundreds of thousands of dollars.  I'd just marry him (LOL)
And I think I'll just stick to meeting guys the good, clean old-fashioned way
...on Facebook *wink*


  1. haaaaaaaa! yes! you're on there.

    So here's the thing, and it's a BIG thing that any Black woman who is considering this needs to understand: THIS AIN'T FOR EVERYBODY!

    I didn't grow up on fairy tales and Prince Charming, so my expectations for men and the relationship called "happily ever after" or "marriage" are unique to my experiences. Furthermore, the SB/SD set up is ... deceptively simple. It's simple in that it's good ol' fee for service. Each side has some demands that the other side can supply. It's that simple, but without honesty, transparency, clear communication, respect, trust and self-awareness, it's shot to hell, Mocha. Seriously. It's shot to hell without all those things. And funny thing is, those are the things that keep a conventional relationship together. These are the things I get to work on everyday as a SB.

    So, yeah, I'll go to the next one. And I'll keep you in the loop. And I have SO MUCH MORE to say on the race side of things, but I'll spare you. Maybe you'll let me write a guest post next time you're searching for a topic. Here's a tease though: the 300% more Black women signing up? I guarantee that 99% of them do NOT understand how the game works and are not there for the right reasons. But whatever... I can't really speak for others. I just have a feeling.

  2. I think you seriously, seriously, seriously underestimate yourself when it comes to White men.

  3. @M...then do explain how the game works for US black women that have joined (or are serious about joining) do I seriously underestimate myself when it comes to white men???

  4. I think it's so funny this even was at Merchant. I go to that restaurant all the time for lunch with the partners (at least the one in lower Manhattan), I should ask the manager about it if i see her tomorrow.

  5. Omg! This is so wild it's almost unbelievable. Wow, lol.

    Your ad was good! I'm curious to see if anyone might reply to it.

    I was cracking up at the very last line: "And I think I'll just stick to meeting guys the good, clean old-fashioned way ...on Facebook" LOL!!!

  6. It just seems, judging by this entry and a couple of others of yours I've read, that you think it's improbable that you'd run across a White man who'd be interested in you. If only you knew... :-)

  7. @Lynn..Honey where they at?? Send em my way! Thank you in advance, sugah! LMAO! (BTW..I joke on the goldigger thing...but I would like a HANDSOME guy..race not a requirement!)

    I mean..just by my own general observation..the kind of guys I FIND attractive dont find ME attractive. IF I like Matt Damon..he likes Asians or very light sistas...not me per se. Prove me wrong! LMAO!


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